Dude?

[Andad]

Originally Posted by Kokyuryoku

There's your problem. He obviously didn't think you were treating him with respect and based on your over the top counter reaction, you weren't. Not very professional if you ask me.




So, you're important and he's not. OK got it.




Yep.



No, it's not offensive and we got the part about how good you are and that your boss really loves you.



From the above it would seem that you do get offended and then some

[Dan2010]

I was a Controller at a $5 billion Fortune 500 homebuilder and I can tell you construction sites ARE just like being in a locker room. If he gets mad over someone calling him "dude", then must get his butt handed to him on a regular basis. Construction is not for the meek.

[G.D.BeanCounter]

Have to admit: I find I use the word increasingly when I am just a little irritated...
i.e.: AD was suppose to email me to let me know what time to expect my shipment... he never did. My response: "Dude, don't take my money and then not keep your word over something as trivial as sending an email."

[Art 1]

I have never called anyone dude and don't care to be called dude either, don't really like the use of the name but would never react like that.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by Kokyuryoku

There's your problem. He obviously didn't think you were treating him with respect and based on your over the top counter reaction, you weren't. Not very professional if you ask me.




So, you're important and he's not. OK got it.




Yep.





From the above it would seem that you do get offended and then some

Good post.

[Pep04]

Guys, I appreciate your help and response.

I DO NOT use that term in many regular lexicon. I used it because my fellow American construction workers have and I wanted to sort of "fit in" around American workers outside of Miami which is predominately Hispanic.


I just wanted to know who else would take that phrase offensive. I work with 99% Hispanics. The Americans that I come into contact with use Dude and Bro VERY loosely. Hence, my use of the term that is not my MO. Nothing more.



But, I appreciate your input. I am sitting back and enjoying how worked up some of you get with the mention of the word. One would think that they mentioned someone's mother. :rof l:

[Pep04]

And with 1,011 viewers and only 95 post, I am left to imagine that this is a non topic for most.

[Watchdog]

Originally Posted by Pep04

And with 1,011 viewers and only 95 post, I am left to imagine that this is a non topic for most.

Not necessarily. I just honestly thought that anyone who overreacts to being called dude probably has some issues that are completely unrelated to you. It's not like "dude" has ANY negative racial connotations. In my opinion, people need to chill--there's enough to get upset about in this world without getting bent out of shape about "dude." I, and most of us, have been called a lot worse.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by kingkongkelley

Not necessarily. I just honestly thought that anyone who overreacts to being called dude probably has some issues that are completely unrelated to you. It's not like "dude" has ANY negative racial connotations. In my opinion, people need to chill--there's enough to get upset about in this world without getting bent out of shape about "dude." I, and most of us, have been called a lot worse.

You are echoing my exact feelings.

[BarkMaster]

You both have over-reacted, IMO.

I think you must have triggered childhood memories of being forced to go to a Dude Ranch dressed up in frilly Roy Rogers attire instead of getting to play baseball.

It is a familiar term you'd only want to use with someone that you would also call by a nickname. FiggyNewton the BarkHater, for example. He's defininitely a "dude" and Spud's "mate".

When I tell someone my real name and they decide to use a familiar of it, I generally look them in the eye and calmly tell them that my "friends" use the name my mother chose for me, followed by a fake smile. I've never had to say that twice.

When someone at work calls me dude, I am not insulted, but it does make me think a bit less of them. I'd never call someone at work dude for the reasons previously mentioned.

My brother in law and I call each other dude all the time.

[BarkMaster]

Originally Posted by Pep04

But, I appreciate your input. I am sitting back and enjoying how worked up some of you get with the mention of the word. One would think that they mentioned someone's mother.

I do hope you can see that this statement is disrespectful as well... asking for opinions and then poking fun at some that don't agree with you.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

I do hope you can see that this statement is disrespectful as well... asking for opinions and then poking fun at some that don't agree with you.

Wow, if I came across that way I apologize. I just thought it was a simple question as to how people perceived the term. I never thought some would get worked up about.

Yes, I asked for opinions because I was interested in what people thought. But, no, I didn't think it was in any way a controversial issue. Had I known that it would push certain people buttons, I would never had started this thread.


Again, I do not use the term dude or bro or anything of the sort. I used it because every American construction worker I come across uses it EVERY single day. And since, I was outside of my environment, I thought it was the norm.

I stand corrected.

[TARDIS]

I'm amazed that no-one knows the origin of the word.

Years ago there were holiday ranches in the west that catered for city types who have never ridden a horse. They would take their vacation on these types of ranches.

The ranches were called DUDE ranches.

DUDE is/was the term for those who have never ridden on the back of a horse. The ranch would have plenty of docile horses and folks would have basic lessons, then go horseback riding along the ranch trails each day as part of their holiday.

I think the meaning of the term DUDE has over the years changed. I don't imagine that it is very complimentary these days.

[Dr. Robert]

surfers changed the meaning of "dude" a while ago.....it's a friendly term....."dudette" for the female.
In the 1960's "man" was the friendly term.

[BarkMaster]

Life is funny... here's some irony for you.

My new boss called me dude today.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

Life is funny... here's some irony for you.

My new boss called me dude today.

: clap:


That actually had me laughing out loud!!!!

[BarkMaster]

I figured you'd be amused.

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

Life is funny... here's some irony for you.

My new boss called me dude today.

Dude, that's funny.

[BarkMaster]

Originally Posted by MonBK

Dude, that's funny.

Like, totally.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

I figured you'd be amused.

I was, or rather, am.


I see how anyone can take that term as offensive. Maybe its just me, but I usually don't get upset over things of that nature. I am Hispanic with brown hair and green eyes and very fair complexion. I speak English with absolutely NO accent. So, when I travel to some parts of the state and country, you can imagine what people tell me about Miami and the Hispanics that live here. I have a thick skin and usually never alert them that I am because it will only make for an uncomfortable situation.


So, you can maybe understand why I would find a silly word such a "dude" so non offensive.

And, again, when ever I come across an fellow field worker from Palm Beach to the Florida Keys (our main area of work), the typical greeting is along the line of "Hey dude! How you doing? Been fishing much?" followed by a bag full of F words and S words. I only figured that, since 99.9% of American workers spoke this way in a 200 mile stretch, that it was proper protocol.

[Art 1]

Originally Posted by Pep04

I was, or rather, am.


I see how anyone can take that term as offensive. Maybe its just me, but I usually don't get upset over things of that nature. I am Hispanic with brown hair and green eyes and very fair complexion. I speak English with absolutely NO accent. So, when I travel to some parts of the state and country, you can imagine what people tell me about Miami and the Hispanics that live here. I have a thick skin and usually never alert them that I am because it will only make for an uncomfortable situation.


So, you can maybe understand why I would find a silly word such a "dude" so non offensive.

And, again, when ever I come across an fellow field worker from Palm Beach to the Florida Keys (our main area of work), the typical greeting is along the line of "Hey dude! How you doing? Been fishing much?" followed by a bag full of F words and S words. I only figured that, since 99.9% of American workers spoke this way in a 200 mile stretch, that it was proper protocol.

Using the F word could get one removed from a job site.

[BarkMaster]

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

I figured you'd be amused.

Originally Posted by Pep04

I was, or rather, am.

I figure it's "karma" for me taking myself too seriously at times.

[Porsche]

I think maybe he must have watched this video the night before he came to work!

Maybe he even wrote the lyrics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pwgv_Rbm34

this song cracks me up ...

BTW, "SEE YOU LATER DUDE!"

[unclesallie]

Originally Posted by Porsche

I think maybe he must have watched this video the night before he came to work!

Maybe he even wrote the lyrics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pwgv_Rbm34

this song cracks me up ...

BTW, "SEE YOU LATER DUDE!"

Terrible music, lyrics, but very very funny!
and, of course, apropos this thread/situation.

[Porsche]

Originally Posted by unclesallie

Terrible music, lyrics, but very very funny!
and, of course, apropos this thread/situation.

Thanks, Dan. I had better mention to those unfamiliar with the song, it's called "Don't call me Dude" and the guy goes ballistic each time they do!!!

[Lol-x]

You guys sure know how to make a mountain out of one word.

Us lawyers like to use lots of words. More words = more $$$$

Note to self: Shut up Dude...and get back to work! ................

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by Porsche

I think maybe he must have watched this video the night before he came to work!

Maybe he even wrote the lyrics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pwgv_Rbm34

this song cracks me up ...

BTW, "SEE YOU LATER DUDE!"

Sorry!!!! Couldn't get through it!!!!


I'll take you word for it.

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by Lol-x

You guys sure know how to make a mountain out of one word.

Us lawyers like to use lots of words. More words = more $$$$

Note to self: Shut up Dude...and get back to work! ................

Do you prorate?

[Pep04]

Originally Posted by Art 1

Using the F word could get one removed from a job site.

Where?


I mean, not using AT someone. But it is the favorite adjective on every site I have EVER set foot on.

[GradyPhilpott]

I haven't read all these responses, but I'm sure our experienced members have "hit the nail on the head" more than once.

From my perspective, what we have here is class conflict. The individual to whom you were speaking is probably used to people kissing his butt all day long and so he probably looks down on those who work with their hands and may not possess their level of education.

On the other hand, you're the master of your domain, so to speak, and feel that you're at the very least the equal of almost everyone in your work setting, and rightfully so, I think, not to mention that you have connections with the higher-ups in the superintendent's company.

However, the word "dude" is so deeply associated in our culture with idiotic, smartass, surfing teenagers with an attitude that I can't even hear the word without thinking of "Bill and Ted," and frankly, I wouldn't know how to use the term in a way that wouldn't sound both confrontational and condescending given the conversation that you cited above.

I have to admit that a confrontational tone paired with condescension really gets my goat, too.

But, having worked in an environment where in the course of a five-minute conversation I might be talking to a 24-year-old crackhead with six kids who are about to be removed from her custody forever, to talking with a cop who'd rather be doing anything else, to a lawyer who's a status-hound and sleep-deprived, to a judge whose docket is crammed full of such cases and who could and would throw me in the slammer in a heartbeat, I learned a bit about status, boundaries and diplomacy.

If I'd been in the shoes of that superintendent in that situation, I would have taken a deep breath, smiled, chuckled, and calmly said, "Please. Call me Grady."

By doing that the superintendent could have settled the status and boundaries issue in about a second and a half without drama or hurt feelings. Then, if it were me, I would have gotten on the horn and called my superior to get the situation straightened out as to the architect.

So, what I'm saying is that you both erred, but it was Mr. Hothead who blew all chances of settling the situation maturely.

What you did do correctly was to refuse to work further with that individual. You're not in kindergarten where you can kiss and make up.

Anyone who is so immature that he'd let one man uttering one word jeopardize a project so important is not to be trusted.

In my experience, folks that petty have a very mean streak of passive-aggression and dealing with that on a project like the one you described could be catastrophic.

My advice would be to drop the word "dude" from your work vocabulary and learn to spot that type of individual and learn how to deal with them quickly and courteously so they will get out of your hair and leave you alone so you can get your job done.

Life's too short to waste on dweebs.