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Old 12 August 2010, 01:22 AM   #1
Idle Swede
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Stimulus checks are on their way...........

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:



* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..



* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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Old 12 August 2010, 01:24 AM   #2
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Old 12 August 2010, 01:45 AM   #3
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Old 12 August 2010, 01:53 AM   #4
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Awsome!!!! I love it and so true.
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Old 12 August 2010, 02:07 AM   #5
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I'll put mine towards a vintage Rolex!
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Old 12 August 2010, 02:14 AM   #6
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Hilarious!!!!
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Old 12 August 2010, 02:17 AM   #7
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A: Shut up!
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Old 12 August 2010, 02:18 AM   #8
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Good post. I felt the same way about the $600.00 rebates given back a couple of years ago. If this money was kept and used to pay off the national deficit (SP?) we would have been a thousand times better off!!!!
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Old 12 August 2010, 02:45 AM   #9
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Old 12 August 2010, 04:42 AM   #10
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I never got the rebates. It seem I pay SO much in taxes I am not allowed to get ANY of it back.

Don't you just love the demonization of success going on in this country.

-Eddie
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Old 12 August 2010, 04:46 AM   #11
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I'm with Paul. I'd rather buy a watch.
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Old 12 August 2010, 05:08 AM   #12
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Hey Leo, when are the checks coming?
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Old 12 August 2010, 05:12 AM   #13
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You know where I'm gonna move this, don't you, Leo!
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Old 12 August 2010, 05:34 AM   #14
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Love it Leo!
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Old 12 August 2010, 05:34 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idle Swede View Post
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
Thats the kinda Economic Stimulus I like indeedily weedily !
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Old 12 August 2010, 06:24 AM   #16
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Old 12 August 2010, 07:54 AM   #17
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Old 12 August 2010, 08:03 AM   #18
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spot on... for us in australia

Conclusion:

Go to a Rugby game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a Poker Machine Room and drink beer all day !
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Old 12 August 2010, 08:31 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince View Post
You know where I'm gonna move this, don't you, Leo!
So why is this in the jokes section ?
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Old 12 August 2010, 08:33 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ducatidoc View Post
So why is this in the jokes section ?
Allan obviously thought it was a joke. :thumb sup:
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Old 12 August 2010, 08:40 AM   #21
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so true and so sad all at the same time.
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Old 12 August 2010, 09:24 AM   #22
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Old 12 August 2010, 09:30 AM   #23
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Genius! Shear genius!
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Old 12 August 2010, 10:05 AM   #24
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Genius! Shear genius!
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Old 12 August 2010, 11:53 AM   #25
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Oh Yeahhhh!!!!!! Love it
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Old 12 August 2010, 12:40 PM   #26
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Wheres John Hinckley when you need him
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Old 12 August 2010, 12:43 PM   #27
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I wish I could come up with an argument to dispute any one of these points, but I just can't think of anything to say.
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Old 12 August 2010, 09:50 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ducatidoc View Post
So why is this in the jokes section ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idle Swede View Post
Allan obviously thought it was a joke.
Indeed!!! Presentation. Presentation.
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Old 25 August 2010, 01:54 AM   #29
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I would love to get another check from the Feds...this time I might even spend it!!!
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Old 25 August 2010, 05:58 AM   #30
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