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12 August 2010, 01:22 AM | #1 |
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Stimulus checks are on their way...........
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .. * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .. * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ... * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .. * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1) Spending it at yard sales, or 2) Going to ball games, or 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. ) Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. |
12 August 2010, 01:24 AM | #2 |
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Rolex 116600 Sea-dweller Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White Legrand FP Montblanc Solitaire Doué Black & White RB Montblanc Meisterstück Diamond Mozart BP Montblanc Meisterstück Mozart BP |
12 August 2010, 01:45 AM | #3 |
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12 August 2010, 01:53 AM | #4 |
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Awsome!!!! I love it and so true.
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12 August 2010, 02:07 AM | #5 |
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I'll put mine towards a vintage Rolex!
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12 August 2010, 02:14 AM | #6 |
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Hilarious!!!!
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12 August 2010, 02:17 AM | #7 |
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A: Shut up!
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12 August 2010, 02:18 AM | #8 |
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Good post. I felt the same way about the $600.00 rebates given back a couple of years ago. If this money was kept and used to pay off the national deficit (SP?) we would have been a thousand times better off!!!!
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12 August 2010, 02:45 AM | #9 |
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Yup, you're my financial advsior
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___/ /_/ /_____ 16610LV; Ball Diver EMT II \:::::::::::::::/ ~~~~~~~~~~ |
12 August 2010, 04:42 AM | #10 |
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I never got the rebates. It seem I pay SO much in taxes I am not allowed to get ANY of it back.
Don't you just love the demonization of success going on in this country. -Eddie
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12 August 2010, 04:46 AM | #11 |
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I'm with Paul. I'd rather buy a watch.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin Prick #8 |
12 August 2010, 05:08 AM | #12 |
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Hey Leo, when are the checks coming?
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12 August 2010, 05:12 AM | #13 |
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You know where I'm gonna move this, don't you, Leo!
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12 August 2010, 05:34 AM | #14 |
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Love it Leo!
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12 August 2010, 05:34 AM | #15 |
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Thats the kinda Economic Stimulus I like indeedily weedily !
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12 August 2010, 06:24 AM | #16 |
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12 August 2010, 07:54 AM | #17 |
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12 August 2010, 08:03 AM | #18 |
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spot on... for us in australia
Conclusion: Go to a Rugby game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a Poker Machine Room and drink beer all day ! |
12 August 2010, 08:31 AM | #19 |
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So why is this in the jokes section ?
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The payments remain long after the novelty has worn off. # 26371 NAWCC Member |
12 August 2010, 08:33 AM | #20 |
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12 August 2010, 08:40 AM | #21 |
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so true and so sad all at the same time.
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12 August 2010, 09:24 AM | #22 |
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12 August 2010, 09:30 AM | #23 |
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Genius! Shear genius!
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12 August 2010, 10:05 AM | #24 |
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TRFs "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Patron-Founding Member PClub # 10 74,592 The safest place for your watch is on your wrist. |
12 August 2010, 11:53 AM | #25 |
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Oh Yeahhhh!!!!!! Love it
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12 August 2010, 12:40 PM | #26 |
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Wheres John Hinckley when you need him
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12 August 2010, 12:43 PM | #27 |
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I wish I could come up with an argument to dispute any one of these points, but I just can't think of anything to say.
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12 August 2010, 09:50 PM | #28 |
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Indeed!!! Presentation. Presentation.
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25 August 2010, 01:54 AM | #29 |
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I would love to get another check from the Feds...this time I might even spend it!!!
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SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!! |
25 August 2010, 05:58 AM | #30 |
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Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!! |
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