My wife's very angry!

[ParisDakarBmw]

I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit.

For starters, I want a used Seadweller 16660, and have been stakcing back lunch money, and things like that for a few months. I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south.

My wife and I have 3 Yorkshire Terriers. It has finally started getting warm again, and the biggest male is Bandit. He started to look like a stray dog, and his fur was not washing well in the bath. I was given "Orders" from my sweet wife. This was to take Bandit to the dog groomer on Saturday, and have his hair trimmed, and nails clipped. He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash.

My loving wife went to work Saturday afternoon for the evening shift at the hospital. I was getting dressed to take the dog for his trip. As my wife pulled out of the driveway, I slipped into my jogging shorts, and grabbed bandit from his crate. He was rushed to the bathroom where I rolled up the rugs, and plugged in the clippers. I turned on the radio, and after oiling the clippers I sat down with the dog. I had planned to give him a quick trim, shampoo, cut his nails, and pour a little peroxide in his ears, and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up.

Things didn't go as planned. I clipped his front nails, and one started to bleed. This got all over me and the bathroom floor. I could clean the floor with bleach, and she still wouldn't know. I started clipping him with no guard, and he fought me the entire time. I had to get scissors to finish the detail work. I put him in the bath, and the entire bathroom smelled of dog. I cleaned his ears fine, but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all.

I scrubbed the bathroom, and mopped every inch. I went to sleep, and just figured my wife would forget about it.

I was awoken this morning to an angry pregnant woman yelling about Bandit. She said he looked like he was sick, and I has no business doing that to her dog. Well, you guys can see the pictures. I didn't think it looked that bad!

Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed....

[sleddog]

Looks fine to me but you are now in the proverbial "Dog" house..!
Thanks for the great story though,It bought a smile to my face!!

[Yazo]

Oh man.. I am on the floor laughing Paul... I'm sorry to hear you're in the doghouse but how you got there is HYSTERICAL!!!

[East Bay Rider]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit.

.... I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south...
... He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash.

... and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up.

Things didn't go as planned.

... but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all.

Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed....

You cannot steal from yourself.

It's gonna cost you more to fix the dog and make amends with the wife.

Good luck with that.

Ps - excellent choice in watches on your wish list.

[Mosco]

Dude - too funny!

[kyle L]

An angry wife is not good Paul...

[RebreatherDiver]

OMG, I am laughing in stitches!!!!!! I can't stop, I have had to rewrite this three times because I am laughing so hard. aaaaaaah hahahahaha!

Paul, you have got yourself in a heap of trouble. If you lived close by I would say you could stay in the guest room until things blow over. Hell, you could even drink my beer and I could pocket the cash I would have spent on you at the bar for your sorrows, ahaahahh ahhahha!

[Mrdi]

On the floor
what a stitch
your lucky if she doesn't cut your hair
while your sleeping.

[ParisDakarBmw]

What was she expecting?

[meloncap78]

I'm sorry dude but................: rofl:. Seriously though I hope everything turns out ok for ya.

[AWATCH]

Sorry to hgear you in the doghouse, but guy this is really funny

[Browining]

Great story, had me rolling on the floor. One of those, "it was a good idea at the time" moments.

Browning

[JohnBoy]

Toooo Much, Man! Doesn't look like 'the Bandit' is holding it against you, though! What a guy will do for his Rolex problem, huh? That crate could get kinda crowded!

By the way, nice looking Coke flavored goodie on your wrist! Hang in there!

[EarthAngel]

Toooooooo Funnnnnnnny!!!! you made my day.

[Pep04]

That is one hell of a funny story!!! Sounds like something I would do all the way. Only I would have blamed the groomer!!!!

Two things you don't do is mess with a pregnant woman's food or lie to your wife. I am guilty of both and I don't seem to learn.

My wife read it and has the audacity of asking if I had given you the idea by chance!!!!


Really one to tell the twins!!!!

[dardeca]

Priceless!

[2005rivers]

I feel for you, But that is very funny, I'd say you earned the $75

[Esexx]

Here Here! Sounds like a cop I work with who is married to a nurse.

Actually it is something would do!

[4 Ranges]

Omg the wife and I are crying laughing!!!!

[jrssv]

We are Yorkie people too. Would your wife believe that Bandit was just having a bad hair day?

[snow_rocks]

Glad you are so open with your wife. Should make for a long lasting relationship!

[ParisDakarBmw]

Originally Posted by jrssv

We are Yorkie people too. Would your wife believe that Bandit was just having a bad hair day?

Maybe if we lived near Chernobyl. Poor dog does look a bit like a Greyhound now that she mentioned it.

Oh yes! She also took the cash plus some other innocent funds that were sitting in my wallet.

It's something every week like this around here. I also tool my little 1.5 year old girl shopping today. I got her ears pierced. I told my wife after she woke up this afternoon. I didn't know it was a sacred event between Mother and doughter. She is pretty livid over the entire weekend.

I had no idea she would "split a nuetron" twice in one day.

Thank god I go to work tomorrow!

[Yazo]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

Maybe if we lived near Chernobyl. Poor dog does look a bit like a Greyhound now that she mentioned it.

Oh yes! She also took the cash plus some other innocent funds that were sitting in my wallet.

It's something every week like this around here. I also tool my little 1.5 year old girl shopping today. I got her ears pierced. I told my wife after she woke up this afternoon. I didn't know it was a sacred event between Mother and doughter. She is pretty livid over the entire weekend.

I had no idea she would "split a nuetron" twice in one day.

Thank god I go to work tomorrow!

LMAO.. dude no offense but these 2 stories belong on a sitcom.. it's freaking GOLD!

[ayecarumba]

...chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate!



Rootin' for ya!
Good luck!

--Paul

[ParisDakarBmw]

Originally Posted by ayecarumba

...chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate!



Rootin' for ya!
Good luck!

--Paul

Am I supposed to throw it in her mouth when she is attacking? I could just see me buying a box of Godiva chocolatiers, and trying to ring her mouth as she charges......I'm waiting for a rabid bear to maul my limbs off, and you suggest tossing candy at her!!

Your wife must be easy going, or you are smart, and take your dog to the groomer!

I'm batting 1000 today, and should do something special I guess.

She needs a new box of cigars!!!!

[Soupsandwich]

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I think we should all send you $10 for your fund. :)

Robert

[crazyfingers]

Just the kind of thing I needed to start my day!

[mpkRolex]

[hennabav]

LOL...Paul, you have some guts there!! I think we all want to know how this story ends...don't leave us hanging.

[Watch Professor]

Great story.