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Old 3 September 2024, 10:41 PM   #91
Petroc Tremaine
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As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.
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Old 5 September 2024, 07:59 AM   #92
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If you haven't tried archery, blindfolded, you don't know what you're missing.
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Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
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Old 5 September 2024, 11:31 PM   #93
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Quote:
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haha
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Old 17 October 2024, 11:54 AM   #94
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Being a banker in Iceland has to be the worst. Every other customer is walking in with a ski mask.
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Old 23 October 2024, 07:40 AM   #95
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hahaha
good one
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Old 31 October 2024, 10:13 PM   #96
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My Dad wrapped an empty box one Christmas & told me it was an Action Man deserter gone AWOL,,,,


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Old 5 December 2024, 05:20 AM   #97
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Lol��
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Old 5 December 2024, 11:15 PM   #98
AzPaul
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A Key lime pie costs $3 in Cuba
A pumpkin pie costs $4 in Jamaica
A banana cream pie costs $5 in Puerto Rico
These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
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Old 7 December 2024, 03:02 AM   #99
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My wife and I met in a revolving door...

We've been going round with each other ever since.

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Old 14 December 2024, 04:13 AM   #100
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Why don’t blind people skydive?

Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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Old 14 December 2024, 05:39 AM   #101
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards?

Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.

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Old 16 December 2024, 05:36 AM   #102
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards?

Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.

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Funny but true!


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Old 19 December 2024, 06:56 AM   #103
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Being a banker in Iceland has to be the worst. Every other customer is walking in with a ski mask.
Hahahaha
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Old 19 December 2024, 06:57 PM   #104
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Good one.
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Old 17 January 2025, 09:54 PM   #105
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I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye….now I have Heinzsight
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Old 17 January 2025, 10:05 PM   #106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy E View Post
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye….now I have Heinzsight
for jokes like this, so bad, who is your 'sauce' ...
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One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
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“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
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Old 18 January 2025, 12:23 AM   #107
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Quote:
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I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye….now I have Heinzsight
I’m gonna use that one this weekend when the kids are home from university
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Old 18 January 2025, 12:23 AM   #108
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.
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Old 18 January 2025, 01:29 AM   #109
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told my wife I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti ....


should have seen her face when I 'drove pasta' ....



ok, ok, got my coat ...
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One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
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Old 18 January 2025, 02:53 AM   #110
brandrea
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What do you see when a duck bends over?

A butt quack.
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Old 18 January 2025, 08:57 PM   #111
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Five ants move in with another five ants.

They are now tenants……….


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Old 18 January 2025, 09:13 PM   #112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandrea View Post
What do you see when a duck bends over?

A butt quack.
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One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
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Old 18 January 2025, 10:59 PM   #113
Petroc Tremaine
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I'm not sure what I like best about Switzerland, but their flag is a big plus.
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Old 18 January 2025, 11:38 PM   #114
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I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me
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Old 18 January 2025, 11:58 PM   #115
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I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me
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Old 25 January 2025, 11:26 AM   #116
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What do you call a cartoon character who gets kicked out of school?
Suspended animation.


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Old 25 January 2025, 05:25 PM   #117
Bazil
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How do you get a tissue to dance ?
Put a little boogie in it ..
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One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
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Old 26 January 2025, 01:27 AM   #118
ChronoExotic
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Where do I keep all my dad jokes?

In a Dad-A-Base
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