Have (or would) you buy a watch to remember a loved one?

[JTL31]

Originally Posted by 1William

I am sorry for your loss. That is a big one. I would give it some time and try to move through the grieving process without making any big decisions. Your mother will always be with you and an inanimate object neither adds to that or takes away.

Originally Posted by brandrea

I’m sorry for your loss OP, truly sorry.

It’s a very personal decision, but IMHO it’s not any different than wearing something from your mom that she passed on to you to have.

If the watch will bring you happy memories of her, I think it’s a great idea.

My sincere condolences OP! I’m sorry for your loss.

I’m quoting these two gentlemen as I always respect their advice given, but in this instance I highly agree with them! It will take time to process your mother’s death and a while to go through the grieving process.

Just a backstory for you, and something to ponder…

I received some money from my mom’s estate and held onto some of it for a number of years. She passed when my daughter was 7 months. My mother was as excited for her birth as I was, and would have been a terrific grandmother to her. :)
My mom knew of my love for watches. When the appropriate time presented itself, I purchased one. I had it engraved for my daughter with a special saying I have shared with her for years. It was similar to something my mom always said to me as a child. My daughter will inherit this watch in time knowing it is from “both” of us. That watch will be a special heirloom.

Take the time you need in making that decision.Best wishes to you and your family.

[AF_Rob]

Sorry for the loss of your mom, OP.

IRT your question, I likely wouldn’t. I’ve marked milestones with pieces but not something I would do here.

I would get more from a tea/coffee cup she used daily than a watch she never saw. Just my opinion.

Either way, all the best moving forward during this hard time.


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[brandrea]

Originally Posted by JTL31

My sincere condolences OP! I’m sorry for your loss.



I’m quoting these two gentlemen as I always respect their advice given, but in this instance I highly agree with them! It will take time to process your mother’s death and a while to go through the grieving process.



Just a backstory for you, and something to ponder…



I received some money from my mom’s estate and held onto some of it for a number of years. She passed when my daughter was 7 months. My mother was as excited for her birth as I was, and would have been a terrific grandmother to her. :)

My mom knew of my love for watches. When the appropriate time presented itself, I purchased one. I had it engraved for my daughter with a special saying I have shared with her for years. It was similar to something my mom always said to me as a child. My daughter will inherit this watch in time knowing it is from “both” of us. That watch will be a special heirloom.



Take the time you need in making that decision.Best wishes to you and your family.

That is a truly awesome story! Thank you so much for sharing it with everyone here

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[Jcm87]

I purchased a Speedmaster (my first real watch), with money from my mothers passing in memory of her. Wanted to get something I didn't have any plans to sell. Wore it daily for 8 years (until COVID), now it spends most of its time in the watch roll but comes out occasionally.

[dtwer]

Sorry for your loss.

On the topic. Unless the watch was given or gifted to me by the loved one, I personally wouldn't feel any special sentiment towards what essentially is another watch that I buy.

[Rollieo]

First off, thank you everyone for the comments. It honestly felt (and somewhat still feels) weird posting this on the internet to a forum of people I don’t “know”, and it felt like a bit of a shot in the dark for advice and thoughts. But I’m glad I did and really appreciate it. I found I wanted to see what everyone thought and briefly checked earlier today, then realized I couldn’t read this while at work.

My immediate feelings and why I thought about pulling my interest with the watch at the AD was because I just didn’t want the association. 2023 will always be the year my mom passed. It also felt like it was a stupid luxury, and who wants inanimate materialistic (especially luxury) things when something like this happens.

Reading the comments though, it has really turned me. While watches are stupid luxury things, they’ve always been more than that to me and hold a lot of sentimental value. I’ve found the watches in my collection I wear the most are the ones associated with something memorable. The difference here of course has been that watches are normally purchased to commemorate something joyous, and this is obviously anything but.

I’m still not sure how I will feel when I see or wear the watch 1, 2, 5, or 10 years from now, but having something to remember my mom by and it being in the form of a watch seems right to me. I’m not going to rush it and will give it more time until I know how I will feel. I know it won’t make me smile when I look at it now. But I think a lot of you are right… that in the future it will be something I look at with grateful memories

[21321Batman]

Lost my dad 7 years ago and I still miss him. The ribbon and bracelet color of his cancer was zebra. One day it hit me to buy this in his memory. Every time I strap it on my wrist I have a quick memory of him and a smile.

I don’t have kids but my brother has 2 girls. They were both excited when I told them I plan on gifting this watch to their oldest son if they have kids.


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[Cauhauna]

I’m very sorry to hear about the passing of your mom, Rollieo. It’s a terrible thing.
I’d like to believe that you still carry the memory of your mom with you, Watch or not watch. She lives on in the stories you’ll share with family, in the things you’ll remember, and in some of the possessions that she had and used frequently. You’ll be able to look at those, and memories will come.

I’d like to think that one’s parent would want to see them pursue their passions, hobbies, and interests after their passing. Besides, No matter how much time you wait, when you buy the next watch it will be “the watch you bought after mom” whether you buy it now or next year.

One final thing: never make a big decision for six months after a big life event. This certainly qualifies as a big life event. But, is it a big decision? If the cost of the watch is a major amount of money for you, consider waiting. My test, stolen from Dave Ramsey, is “could I light this money on fire and it not really matter.”

No matter what you decide, the Watch isn’t going anywhere.

And, if you have any siblings that you could possibly take a small vacation with, perhaps it would be helpful.

Every day is a gift..

[John Sheridan]

Sorry for your loss, my mother died coming up two years ago. I also briefly thought about buying a watch as a sort of reminder of her but had second thoughts about it and thought that in an odd way it was the wrong way to effectively justify another watch purchase. Each to their own though, I hope you are happy with whatever you choose.

[George58]

I wear a watch that my dad wore for 30 years never leaving his wrist so I have all kind of memories of him wearing it.
When he passed I got the watch and I wear it. I can not express the feeling I get wearing it. Its priceless. My point is getting a watch when a loved is gone would only make me sad.But that's just my 2 cents.

[CFR]

Very sorry to hear about losing your mom. Few life experiences are as emotional as the loss of a parent.

For that reason, I'd echo what a few others have said and wait. There's no rush. If you give it a bit more time, you'll approach the decision with greater clarity, knowing that you're not just using her passing to justify another watch purchase and also having a better idea about whether you'll truly enjoy wearing that watch or if it'll just make you sad.

The other potential problem is if your tastes change and you eventually find that you just don't like that particular watch and never want to wear it. Then you may feel stuck with it and resent it a bit. That happened with a good friend and fellow collector. He bought a watch shortly after his mother passed away (she was in her 90s and he was about 70 at the time) -- a rare preowned watch that I had been looking for for years -- and to my surprise he ended up selling that watch (to me) about two years later after falling out of love with it.

Tangible objects for remembrance and ritual are really important. I have a few things that each of my parents owned, created, used, and were meaningful to them. These objects are all I find that I need. If you have anything like that of your mom's (especially something like perfume, because our sense of smell is powerfully connected to remembrance), then you may want to see if that's all you need, and then buy the watch later if you still feel a void. Personally, I'd buy a watch only if I had nothing of theirs to remember them by. But that's just me of course.

Let us know what you decide.

[Laura Ann]

I bought one when I recently lost my dad. I had it engraved with a duck- what he called me and the year 2022. It’s my most treasured piece. I will then leave it to my son and he will always remember as well.

[Flintstone]

First, my condolences on the passing of your beloved mother. My mother has been gone for almost half my life. I did not have the interest in, nor the means, for a watch collection while she was alive. Your mother is ALWAYS going to be with you, whether you buy a watch in her memory or not. Perhaps if there is a watch that really “calls” to you and would bring you happiness during your time of mourning and adjustment, you should purchase and wear it not in memory of your mother, but in tribute to your mother for helping you become the person you are today.

[alphadweller]

My condolences, OP. I Iost my mother last year. I know how you feel.

I like to buy a watch to celebrate something nice, a happy event in my life, a milestone. So that's a no for me.