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idk01 · 18 July 2009, 03:54 PM

The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller
asked, "Doctor, I want to know - why do men always want to marry a virgin?"
To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor,
doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've
cut your arms off".

A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is standing at the bar.
"Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks. "No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've
got one 'ere."

I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned into a field.

A brain and a jumper lead go into a pub and order some drinks. The barman
says "I'm not serving you two!"
"Why?" asked the brain.
The barman replies, "Because you are out of your skull and he is bound to
start something."

Answering machine: "... If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key ..."

What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.

Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic? He choked on his own vimto.

A woman arrives at a bank with a fifty pound note stuck in each ear, and
asks to see the manager. The cashier steps through to the managers office:
"There's a woman to see you, she's £100 in arrears."

Our local chemist was robbed last week and a quantity of Viagra was
stolen. Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

Where does Saddam Hussain keep his CD's?
In Iraq.

onkyo · 18 July 2009, 04:16 PM

Bisquitlips · 19 July 2009, 05:17 AM

rik byatt · 19 July 2009, 05:36 AM

JJ Irani · 19 July 2009, 07:23 AM

ratae1950 · 19 July 2009, 07:43 AM

Rofl!

coddger · 19 July 2009, 11:43 AM

swatty · 20 July 2009, 09:03 PM

Lion · 24 July 2009, 06:49 AM

Very good!!!

18 July 2009, 03:54 PM	#1
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	A bunch of oldies :-) but goodies :lol: The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know - why do men always want to marry a virgin?" To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism." My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is standing at the bar. "Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks. "No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've got one 'ere." I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a field. A brain and a jumper lead go into a pub and order some drinks. The barman says "I'm not serving you two!" "Why?" asked the brain. The barman replies, "Because you are out of your skull and he is bound to start something." Answering machine: "... If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key ..." What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner? The cold shoulder. Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic? He choked on his own vimto. A woman arrives at a bank with a fifty pound note stuck in each ear, and asks to see the manager. The cashier steps through to the managers office: "There's a woman to see you, she's £100 in arrears." Our local chemist was robbed last week and a quantity of Viagra was stolen. Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals. Where does Saddam Hussain keep his CD's? In Iraq. __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

19 July 2009, 05:17 AM	#3
Bisquitlips 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,523	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

19 July 2009, 07:23 AM	#5
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

19 July 2009, 07:43 AM	#6
ratae1950 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Cambridge Ma Posts: 2,331	Rofl! __________________ Yunnoworameenmiduck

19 July 2009, 11:43 AM	#7
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

18 July 2009, 04:16 PM	#2
onkyo Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Pav Location: Manhattan Posts: 11,495

19 July 2009, 05:36 AM	#4
rik byatt Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Real Name: Rik(obviously) Location: Manchester, UK Watch: 16613,15210,220050 Posts: 136

20 July 2009, 09:03 PM	#8
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

24 July 2009, 06:49 AM	#9
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

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