Is it time to walk away?

[Trouble15]

Originally Posted by Speedbird-1

There are always two sides, to every story.

Three.

[Dirt]

Originally Posted by Maleg

I read the entire thread. The fact that he left out the most critical fact in the OP is very telling. What other pertinent details are missing?

I think you are jumping to a conclusion based entirely on his story. He claims she is intentionally making him miserable, but we don’t have her side of the story. He could be an annoying gobshite that is bitter that she isn’t putting up with his BS anymore. How would we know?

There's so so much we don't know.
They need help. Really good help i would say.
We've all seen and heard this stuff throughout our lives and or experienced it on one level or another.

My father cheated on my mother who was previously divorced. It all happened before i was born.
There was a whole heap of stuff that led up to it and contributing factors which came into play from their respective childhoods and early formative adult years.
But after reflecting on snippets of what i've heard from that generation that was there at the time from my parents, their closest friends and relatives.
I have concluded that my dad was flawed but a wonderful person and my mother was overly punishing which pushed him into the arms of another more receptive woman.
That didn't last and my father chose to remain with my mother.
Then i came along. Very very very much by mistake and they stayed together under sufferance for my benefit.
They remained loyal to each other throughout the remainder of their lives until their passing.
In a fashion. They always loved each other in their own way.

There is always so much to unpack with these things that none of us have any real right to comment.

I wish the OP and his wife well and hope they can work through it to come out the other side better/stronger people who are not too badly damaged whether they remain together or not.

[1st amg]

Originally Posted by Dirt

There's so so much we don't know.
They need help. Really good help i would say.
We've all seen and heard this stuff throughout our lives and or experienced it on one level or another.

My father cheated on my mother who was previously divorced. It all happened before i was born.
There was a whole heap of stuff that led up to it and contributing factors which came into play from their respective childhoods and early formative adult years.
But after reflecting on snippets of what i've heard from that generation that was there at the time from my parents, their closest friends and relatives.
I have concluded that my dad was flawed but a wonderful person and my mother was overly punishing which pushed him into the arms of another more receptive woman.
That didn't last and my father chose to remain with my mother.
Then i came along. Very very very much by mistake and they stayed together under sufferance for my benefit.
They remained loyal to each other throughout the remainder of their lives until their passing.
In a fashion. They always loved each other in their own way.

There is always so much to unpack with these things that none of us have any real right to comment.

I wish the OP and his wife well and hope they can work through it to come out the other side better/stronger people who are not too badly damaged whether they remain together or not.

Sounds like you went through and saw a lot growing up...hard to see it to be honest as you turned out so eloquent and kind in your explanation and acceptance.

[chrissimons]

IMO the intention between you two is to be clarified : do you both still want to communicate ? If yes, maybe try to find some help (Therapist or psychologist or something else) to create gaps and at least be able to exchange. (a good read is Mark Manson "the art of seduction", it's interesting about exchanging through our own vulnerabilities).

[Dirt]

Originally Posted by 1st amg

Sounds like you went through and saw a lot growing up...hard to see it to be honest as you turned out so eloquent and kind in your explanation and acceptance.

Thankyou so very much for your kind words.
To be totally candid.
They are without exception, the kindest words that i can imagine recieving in my whole life from someone who doesn't know me.

It's certainly been a journey and it's not like i'm not damaged, though continually working through what i fully understand in this and building on it. I'm working on it every day.

[Sarosh]

Sorry to hear this OP. Taking into account what you did 5 years ago, it still takes two to tango. If it is something she cannot get over/forgive then you can’t be subjected to the belittlement on a daily basis. That’s a non-starter and will drive your mental health down into a very dark place.

If the only way to get into the light is to part ways, then do it. Do it for your future self who will rebuild once it’s all said and done. Nobody wants to leave this earth filled with regret and resentment.

Wish you all the best and I hope whatever happens works out for the best. For both of you.

[taylorandrian]

don’t take any bait.. if she is angry do not react…stay calm and speak normally back to her.
What is the source of her anger? Your past?








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