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padi56 · 30 June 2005, 06:38 PM

How to shower like a woman

Take off all your clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket, according to whites and coloureds. Walk to the bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If you see hubby on the way cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make a mental note to do more
Sit-ups. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth and long loofah and, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for ten minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body rub. Shave armpits and legs, turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with shower shine. Get out of shower and dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom in long dressing gown with towel on head, if you see hubby along the way cover any exposed areas.

How to Shower like a man.

Take off all clothes while sitting on edge off bed, leave in pile at feet.

Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way shake your manhood at her making a whoo hoo noise. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, admire the size of your manhood and scratch your arse.

Get in the shower and wash your face, wash your armpits. Blow your nose into your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart, and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend the majority of your time washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck to the soap. Shampoo hair and make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off and fail to notice the water on the floor. Admire manhood size in mirror again, leave shower door open, leave wet mark on floor and leave light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist, if you pass your wife, drop towel shake your manhood at her, and make a whoo hoo noise again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

chenx15 · 9 August 2009, 04:08 AM

have to bump the best classics

idk01 · 9 August 2009, 09:06 AM

Lion · 9 August 2009, 11:23 PM

Very good!!!

coddger · 11 August 2009, 03:27 AM

TSW · 23 July 2011, 10:03 PM

:)

mitchy · 24 July 2011, 12:49 AM

Art 1 · 24 July 2011, 12:56 AM

johnbeth · 24 July 2011, 12:59 AM

Jarrah · 4 November 2021, 08:52 PM

Guilty as charged.

I also like to wear my SubC date in the shower

1. To make sure it stays clean and shiny
2. To complement my enormous shlong
3. To admire myself wearing it naked in the mirror
4. Because I can
5. You are on this forum so I know you understand!

Andad · 4 November 2021, 10:07 PM

A resurrection.

But was Peter wearing his Rolex?

Well. Peter?

ScoRys · 4 November 2021, 10:32 PM

That is so true! Does anyone have a wife who drops her robe by accident?

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Cazador60 · 5 November 2021, 01:34 AM

Except I'm the only one in this house that walks around turning off lights and fans....

Jarrah · 7 November 2021, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScoRys

That is so true! Does anyone have a wife who drops her robe by accident?

'accident' haha!

No such thing lol

Maxtor · 8 November 2021, 05:05 AM

Sent this joke to my wife. She loved it.

I guess that means I have to take a hard look at my shower habits.

Roddypeepa · 20 November 2021, 07:56 PM

This is great and well worth the bump

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Tingle · 30 January 2022, 06:13 AM

Sounds about right. My wife brushes her teeth in the shower too for some reason.

omar10213245 · 4 February 2022, 01:54 AM

bahahaha!

cajunron · 23 February 2022, 02:39 PM

WooooHooooo!

BNA/LION · 23 February 2022, 04:26 PM

JorgeChou · 2 March 2022, 08:19 PM

Lol This is so true, I really love this post, Great job for pointing things out.

sneakerhead1 · 19 March 2022, 03:33 AM

rum77 · 20 March 2022, 09:06 PM

Tingle · 27 March 2022, 10:17 AM

Sounds about right. Might have to add get chewed out by the missus at the end.

InvgrWatches · 22 April 2025, 10:28 AM

lol

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30 June 2005, 06:38 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 54,023	How to shower guide How to shower like a woman Take off all your clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket, according to whites and coloureds. Walk to the bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If you see hubby on the way cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make a mental note to do more Sit-ups. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth and long loofah and, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for ten minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body rub. Shave armpits and legs, turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with shower shine. Get out of shower and dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom in long dressing gown with towel on head, if you see hubby along the way cover any exposed areas. How to Shower like a man. Take off all clothes while sitting on edge off bed, leave in pile at feet. Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way shake your manhood at her making a whoo hoo noise. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, admire the size of your manhood and scratch your arse. Get in the shower and wash your face, wash your armpits. Blow your nose into your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart, and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend the majority of your time washing your privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck to the soap. Shampoo hair and make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off and fail to notice the water on the floor. Admire manhood size in mirror again, leave shower door open, leave wet mark on floor and leave light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist, if you pass your wife, drop towel shake your manhood at her, and make a whoo hoo noise again. Throw wet towel on bed.

9 August 2009, 04:08 AM	#2
chenx15 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: somewhere Posts: 2,891	have to bump the best classics __________________ 16 GS Titles 16 AMS titles (1 short of Agassi) 23 Consecutive GS semifinals 17/18 of the last GS finals, 237 consecutive weeks #1 5 consecutive wimbledon + 1 = 6 cups 5 consecutive US open 4 Australian open 1 Sweet french open a crown for every achievement The Greatest Of All Time loves Rolex

9 August 2009, 09:06 AM	#3
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	__________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

9 August 2009, 11:23 PM	#4
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

11 August 2009, 03:27 AM	#5
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

23 July 2011, 10:03 PM	#6
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	:) __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

24 July 2011, 12:49 AM	#7
mitchy "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Mitch Location: . Watch: 116710LN Posts: 2,495	__________________ Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted John Lennon

24 July 2011, 12:56 AM	#8
Art 1 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 31,285	__________________ Time never stops.

24 July 2011, 12:59 AM	#9
johnbeth "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: John Location: Australia Watch: Depends on mood. Posts: 9,536

4 November 2021, 08:52 PM	#10
Jarrah "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2020 Location: Australia Watch: SubC Date Posts: 16	Guilty as charged. I also like to wear my SubC date in the shower 1. To make sure it stays clean and shiny 2. To complement my enormous shlong 3. To admire myself wearing it naked in the mirror 4. Because I can 5. You are on this forum so I know you understand!

4 November 2021, 10:07 PM	#11
Andad 2025 Rolex SubTT Bluesy Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 38,227	A resurrection. But was Peter wearing his Rolex? Well. Peter? __________________ E

4 November 2021, 10:32 PM	#12
ScoRys "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2021 Real Name: Scott Rysdon Location: Sioux Falls, SD Watch: JLC Reverso Posts: 403	That is so true! Does anyone have a wife who drops her robe by accident? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

5 November 2021, 01:34 AM	#13
Cazador60 "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2020 Location: California Watch: Submariner 5513 Posts: 1,792	Except I'm the only one in this house that walks around turning off lights and fans....

8 November 2021, 05:05 AM	#15
Maxtor 2025 Rolex SubTT Bluesy Pledge Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Max Location: Toronto Watch: Exp 1, DJ Tuxedo Posts: 2,502	Sent this joke to my wife. She loved it. I guess that means I have to take a hard look at my shower habits.

20 November 2021, 07:56 PM	#16
Roddypeepa "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2019 Real Name: Mark Location: Southern England Watch: DJ41 SubC SMP mast Posts: 1,953	This is great and well worth the bump Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

30 January 2022, 06:13 AM	#17
Tingle "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2022 Location: Denver Posts: 8	Sounds about right. My wife brushes her teeth in the shower too for some reason.

4 February 2022, 01:54 AM	#18
omar10213245 2025 Rolex SubTT Bluesy Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2020 Real Name: Omar Location: somewhere Watch: 126515LN (sundust) Posts: 1,567	bahahaha!

23 February 2022, 02:39 PM	#19
cajunron 2025 Rolex SubTT Bluesy Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Ronnie Location: Southeastern USA Watch: Omega Seamaster PO Posts: 3,901	WooooHooooo! __________________

23 February 2022, 04:26 PM	#20
BNA/LION 2025 Rolex SubTT Bluesy Pledge Member Join Date: May 2011 Real Name: Larry Location: San Diego, CA Watch: ROLEX Posts: 26,548	__________________ ✦ 28238 President DD 18K/YG ✦ 16610LN SS Sub ✦ 16613 18K/SS Serti ✦ 16550 Exp II Non-Rail Cream Dial ✦ DaytonaC 116500 ✦ 126710 BLRO GMT-Master II ✦ M226627 42mm Titanium Yacht-Master ✦ 126000 OP Turquoise Blue 36mm NEXT-->? ⛳ Hole In One! 10/3/19 DMCC 5th hole, par 3, 168 yards w/ 4-Iron.

2 March 2022, 08:19 PM	#21
JorgeChou "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2022 Location: London Posts: 1	Lol This is so true, I really love this post, Great job for pointing things out.

19 March 2022, 03:33 AM	#22
sneakerhead1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2022 Location: Canada Posts: 11

20 March 2022, 09:06 PM	#23
rum77 Banned Join Date: Feb 2021 Location: USA Posts: 204

27 March 2022, 10:17 AM	#24
Tingle "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2022 Location: Denver Posts: 8	Sounds about right. Might have to add get chewed out by the missus at the end.

22 April 2025, 10:28 AM	#25
InvgrWatches "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2025 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 58	lol Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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