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browngo1 · 24 February 2010, 06:51 AM

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
***

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

***

A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin".
He explodes - "Fooking 'ell man, you've left the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, she were thin".

***

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore arsehole asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnums or cornettos?"

spuds · 24 February 2010, 06:56 AM

Excellent!!

figbo · 24 February 2010, 07:43 AM

HAHA!

hbbfam · 24 February 2010, 07:48 AM

People from Scotland sure talk funny.

idk01 · 24 February 2010, 08:58 PM

That last one Gordon

Have to email that one to my parents

sleddog · 24 February 2010, 11:57 PM

ParisDakarBmw · 25 February 2010, 12:00 AM

Good one!

rfknauss · 25 February 2010, 05:20 AM

marshallr47 · 27 February 2010, 01:07 AM

24 February 2010, 06:51 AM	#1
browngo1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Real Name: Gordon Location: Irvine, Scotland Watch: SS DJ, SS GMTIIC Posts: 339	Yorkshiremen Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat." Vet: "Is it a tom? Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us." * A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?" Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!" * A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - "Fooking 'ell man, you've left the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out!" The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you". The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, she were thin". *** Bloke from Barnsley with a sore arsehole asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies "Aye, magnums or cornettos?" __________________

24 February 2010, 06:56 AM	#2
spuds "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Dan Location: Essex, UK Watch: West Ham! COYI!! Posts: 7,941	Excellent!! __________________ Onwards & Upwards Rodders...... Onwards & Upwards. Life is not about how fast you can run or how high you can climb........... It's about how well you can bounce!! TRF HALL OF FAME JANUARY 2010

24 February 2010, 07:43 AM	#3
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	HAHA! __________________ member # 9862 Best bartender in the world!! Last of the Bastid Tossers p club member #9

24 February 2010, 08:58 PM	#5
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	That last one Gordon Have to email that one to my parents __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

24 February 2010, 11:57 PM	#6
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,931	__________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

24 February 2010, 07:48 AM	#4
hbbfam "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Howard Location: Chandler, AZ Watch: Omega SMP300 Posts: 458	People from Scotland sure talk funny.

25 February 2010, 12:00 AM	#7
ParisDakarBmw Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Paul Location: New Haven, CT Watch: 116610 Sub-C Posts: 6,552	Good one!

25 February 2010, 05:20 AM	#8
rfknauss 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Richard Location: Macungie, PA Watch: 5513 Sub, LV Sub Posts: 14,497	__________________ *"Few things in life give man as great a pleasure as wearing a Rolex!"* TRF's "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Patron

27 February 2010, 01:07 AM	#9
marshallr47 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Real Name: Ron Location: Alabama Watch: Daytona,TT Sub,GMT Posts: 4,673	__________________ Ron

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