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ROLEX MAN · 19 February 2008, 03:56 PM

FUNNY QUOTES

I like to wake up each morning feelling a new man. -
Author: Jean Harlow

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by
Author: Douglas Adams

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Author: Walt Disney

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up
Author: Barbara Bush

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Author: Groucho Marx

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
Author: Rudyard Kipling

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. -
Author: Marie Corelli

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Author: Emo Philips

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet
Author: Henry Youngman

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
Author: Jack Handey

If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Author: John Wayne

If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
- Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Author: Jack Handey

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Author: Dick Cavett

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
Author: Emo Philips

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was pro da. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Author: Yakov Smirnoff

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.
Author: Mark Twain

frostie · 19 February 2008, 09:37 PM

bgriz · 20 February 2008, 12:01 PM

Tools · 20 February 2008, 12:27 PM

mdx77 · 20 February 2008, 12:49 PM

JJ Irani · 20 February 2008, 04:42 PM

jasonbellevue · 20 February 2008, 05:18 PM

19 February 2008, 03:56 PM	#1
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,714	Funny Quotes FUNNY QUOTES I like to wake up each morning feelling a new man. - Author: Jean Harlow I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by Author: Douglas Adams I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Author: Walt Disney I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up Author: Barbara Bush I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Author: Groucho Marx I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards. Author: Rudyard Kipling I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Author: Marie Corelli I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. Author: Emo Philips I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet Author: Henry Youngman If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast. Author: Jack Handey If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. Author: John Wayne If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live) Author: Jack Handey If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. Author: Dick Cavett In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some. Author: Emo Philips In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was pro da. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. Author: Yakov Smirnoff In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards. Author: Mark Twain

19 February 2008, 09:37 PM	#2
frostie 1,000,000th PostMember Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 14,048	__________________ GMT - Master II C - 116710 LN

20 February 2008, 12:01 PM	#3
bgriz 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Real Name: Brian Location: Chicagoland Watch: ing the markets Posts: 2,194	__________________ 126600 SD43 Red 126710BLRO GMT II PEPSI 178274 Midsize DJ Rhodium/Roman- Hers 126334 DJ41 in blue, fluted, on jubilee 116509 Daytona WG Panda 114060 Sub no date 126621 YM Chocolate dial Root Beer 126710BLNR Batman 126613LB Bluesy 126711CHNR GMT II Root Beer

20 February 2008, 12:27 PM	#4
Tools TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: May 2007 Real Name: Larry Location: Mojave Desert Watch: GMT's Posts: 43,490	__________________ (Chill ... It's just a watch Forum.....) NAWCC Member

20 February 2008, 12:49 PM	#5
mdx77 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Kurt Location: Philly Burbs!! Posts: 3,296	__________________ “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the BLUE pill - the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the RED pill - you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Rolex Submariner 116610LV Hulk \| Rolex GMT 16710 Pepsi \| Omega Speedmaster “Speedy Tuesday” \| Tudor Black Bay 79220R “ETA Rose” \| Tudor Pelagos Blue Dial \| Rolex Submariner Yellow Gold 116618LB \| Rolex Milgauss “Z-Blue” 116400GV

20 February 2008, 04:42 PM	#6
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

20 February 2008, 05:18 PM	#7
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