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toph · 18 April 2008, 08:27 PM

THE DAMNED EGG
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran towards the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said,
"Ye can keep the damn egg!!"

Gerry · 18 April 2008, 08:37 PM

Nice one!

JJ Irani · 19 April 2008, 04:59 AM

frostie · 19 April 2008, 05:21 AM

TDH · 20 April 2008, 05:58 AM

18 April 2008, 08:27 PM	#1
toph "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: ChrisTOPHer Location: Sydney Watch: Rolex, Brellum, Posts: 12,601	For JJ this is a typical scotsman! THE DAMNED EGG A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran towards the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!" __________________ "Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795

18 April 2008, 08:37 PM	#2
Gerry "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Melbourne, Aus. Watch: Z Series 16613 Posts: 887	Nice one! __________________

19 April 2008, 04:59 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

19 April 2008, 05:21 AM	#4
frostie 1,000,000th PostMember Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 14,048	__________________ GMT - Master II C - 116710 LN

20 April 2008, 05:58 AM	#5
TDH "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2007 Real Name: Jay Location: Here n there Watch: Sub Posts: 1,641

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