My love/hate relationship with Christmas.

[bdex75]

As Christmas Eve comes to a close in the Eastern time zone in the US and we begin the preparations for the Christmas Day festivities I often find myself sitting on the couch as the kids watch Christmas movies in the den and my wife frantically tries to find all of the hidden gifts to wrap. (The ones that get discovered in June are always a bonus!!).

While I love the hustle and bustle of Christmas the busy shopping malls, the hectic travel plans to see as many family members as we can possibly see while I take a few days off of work. I always find myself thinking about the one family member in particular that we are missing. We spent every Christmas Eve with my mom, including her last in 2000. We drive the 3 hours to their house on Christmas Eve morning, had a great meal and exchanged gifts and stayed long into the evening knowing it would probably be our last Christmas together, for now. We left their house about midnight and drove the 3 hours home.

About 6:30 on Christmas morning we got the call that she had passed away. About 3 years prior we found out she had stage 3 breast cancer 2 weeks before our wedding. She waited to have surgery/chemo/radiation until after the wedding. Eventually the cancer went into remission and we had a couple good years. And then it came back with a vengeance. I was 22 when I got married and we decided to wait a couple years to have kids to travel and make sure we were financially ready. (By the way, if you are reading this and you are 22, you will never be financially ready for kids 😁).

I had always hoped that my mom would be able to see her grandchildren and to be honest we were blessed to even be able to have kids. Though I always second guessed our decision to wait. Our son was born 2002 and our daughter in 2003. They brought the joy and excitement back to Christmas. As they are now teenagers and no longer "believe" in Santa Claus some of the excitement has diminished. But we still enjoy the season.

Every year we now have a tradition to go to a nice dinner on Christmas Eve. Usually with some combination of friends at a nicer franchise type steak restaurant. This year we find ourselves in a new area (Indianapolis) and having no family or long term friends in the area for the first time it was just the four of us.

So as we all hopefully take some time to spend with friends and family this Christmas remember to enjoy it because you never know when it may be your last. Enjoy good food and good wine and each others company. And if you happen to be in the Indy area St. Elmo's does a fantastic job.

Merry Christmas and may God bless everyone this holiday season and in 2016!!


The Dexters.




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[GerardoG]

Dear Brandon:

Thank you for sharing your story with us, I totally agree that we have to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. Now that your mother is not physically around, spending time with your family is precious and prime moments. FELICIDADES!

A big Merry Christmas from Mexico! Oh yes, wine will also flow tonight here. I will raise a glass to you and your family. Salud!

...and on the financials/kids...I AGREE!

[BBL]

Dear bdex75...
Truly a touching message. Thank you.
I am finding my 'new normal', too.
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
DM

[Bocktagon]

Originally Posted by bdex75

As Christmas Eve comes to a close in the Eastern time zone in the US and we begin the preparations for the Christmas Day festivities I often find myself sitting on the couch as the kids watch Christmas movies in the den and my wife frantically tries to find all of the hidden gifts to wrap. (The ones that get discovered in June are always a bonus!!).

While I love the hustle and bustle of Christmas the busy shopping malls, the hectic travel plans to see as many family members as we can possibly see while I take a few days off of work. I always find myself thinking about the one family member in particular that we are missing. We spent every Christmas Eve with my mom, including her last in 2000. We drive the 3 hours to their house on Christmas Eve morning, had a great meal and exchanged gifts and stayed long into the evening knowing it would probably be our last Christmas together, for now. We left their house about midnight and drove the 3 hours home.

About 6:30 on Christmas morning we got the call that she had passed away. About 3 years prior we found out she had stage 3 breast cancer 2 weeks before our wedding. She waited to have surgery/chemo/radiation until after the wedding. Eventually the cancer went into remission and we had a couple good years. And then it came back with a vengeance. I was 22 when I got married and we decided to wait a couple years to have kids to travel and make sure we were financially ready. (By the way, if you are reading this and you are 22, you will never be financially ready for kids 😁).

I had always hoped that my mom would be able to see her grandchildren and to be honest we were blessed to even be able to have kids. Though I always second guessed our decision to wait. Our son was born 2002 and our daughter in 2003. They brought the joy and excitement back to Christmas. As they are now teenagers and no longer "believe" in Santa Claus some of the excitement has diminished. But we still enjoy the season.

Every year we now have a tradition to go to a nice dinner on Christmas Eve. Usually with some combination of friends at a nicer franchise type steak restaurant. This year we find ourselves in a new area (Indianapolis) and having no family or long term friends in the area for the first time it was just the four of us.

So as we all hopefully take some time to spend with friends and family this Christmas remember to enjoy it because you never know when it may be your last. Enjoy good food and good wine and each others company. And if you happen to be in the Indy area St. Elmo's does a fantastic job.

Merry Christmas and may God bless everyone this holiday season and in 2016!!


The Dexters.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Great picture and even better story. Sorry to hear about your mother. I lost mine to cancer as well but I was much younger. I was only 11 or so, so I didn't really understand what was going on. Probably much more difficult when you're an adult.

I hope you have a nice Christmas with your family.

[bdex75]

Originally Posted by GerardoG

Dear Brandon:

Thank you for sharing your story with us, I totally agree that we have to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. Now that your mother is not physically around, spending time with your family is precious and prime moments. FELICIDADES!

A big Merry Christmas from Mexico! Oh yes, wine will also flow tonight here. I will raise a glass to you and your family. Salud!

...and on the financials/kids...I AGREE!

Thanks G. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the fabulous food I am sure you will prepare. I look forward to the food pics.


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[bdex75]

Originally Posted by BBL

Dear bdex75...

Truly a touching message. Thank you.

I am finding my 'new normal', too.

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

DM

It seems that every year gets better, but that one day is always tough.


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[bdex75]

Originally Posted by Bocktagon

Great picture and even better story. Sorry to hear about your mother. I lost mine to cancer as well but I was much younger. I was only 11 or so, so I didn't really understand what was going on. Probably much more difficult when you're an adult.

I hope you have a nice Christmas with your family.

I had a brother that was 11 at the time. We had dinner yesterday with him and his wife and the godchildren. We talk often at length about how different the whole experience was for each of us. Though it was sadness and grief for each of us the uncertainty of what was going to happen inside of the house was an added worry to him. My mom was the cook, the taxi and the hockey mom for us growing up.


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[azguy]

Free-Christmas-Pictures.jpg

[1William]

Thanks for sharing on Christmas. As we get older and many of our family and friends pass it does cause me to reflect and be grateful for all the blessing we have and to also realize that each of us, in our own time, will pass. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[Israguard]

Thank you for your heart warming story.

You have been blessed with a beautiful Family and I am sure your Mom is looking down at you with tears of joy.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas

[brandrea]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm certain your mother is there with you all in spirit. Enjoy the day with your beautiful family

[nyyankees]

Thanks for the post. It was one I needed tonight as we face a similar situation this year. You helped me to refocus.Merry Christmas.


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[Rock]

Cheers Brandon, it is always a nice touch on any Forum when Members feel that they can share a bit of their own story with their Forum colleagues. Great picture which brings your post 'alive'. Happy New year.

[colpol]

Thanks for posting that - a time for reflection indeed

[WRwatchATL]

Thank you for sharing this, I hope you had a wonderful time with your family over Christmas.