Your Age at Wal-Mart

[mailman]

Age By Wal-Mart

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house
mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room,
or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You
have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with
the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what,
and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great
home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to
get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your
hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself
in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because
you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in
the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running
the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change
shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash
your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still
got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you
went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to
cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes
and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost
empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age
and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your
hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in
your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not
to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie
running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think
you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from
Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog
shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole
in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you
don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have
your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on
your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because
you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander
around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out
loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school
with the old lady who greeted you at the front door .

[Troy]

[DSJ]

I'm 36 and more closely emulate the 50's-60's crowd!

[swatty]

[limbo]

[Ashley]

True to my age bracket!

[Lisa]

Fart out loud and think someone called your name. My sides hurt.

[Art161]

[jasonbellevue]

[JJ Irani]

[Rolexitis]

31 here, but I think I fall into the 50 - 60 category

[Rolexitis]

Originally Posted by Rolexitis

31 here, but I think I fall into the 50 - 60 category

. I have a Hot Ass wife, 2 kids, a compact car, a nice house and a Rolex....I'm not trying to impress anyone at Wal Mart

[mfer]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Fart out loud and think someone called your name. My sides hurt.

Same here!!!

[SLS]

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Fart out loud and think someone called your name. My sides hurt.

Originally Posted by mfer

Same here!!!

Yes but what kind of fart is it? Trumpeteer? Bronx Doo? Kazoo? Sphincter Stinker? Oprah Wind- Free?

One's things for sure, it definetly isn't an Air Biscuit

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by mailman

Yes but what kind of fart is it? Trumpeteer? Bronx Doo? Kazoo? Sphincter Stinker? Oprah Wind- Free?

One's things for sure, it definetly isn't an Air Biscuit

Paulie, I giggled about that line all day. I mean it! Right in the middle of Walgreen's I started thinking about it, and I could hardly verify my address to pick up the kids' allergy medicine.

That struck me as the funniest thing I think I have ever read. I'm STILL giggling!

[eric23]

[rpryan55]

Way too funny. And, sadly for me, way too true.......