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figbo · 20 October 2008, 11:39 PM

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Canada.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Canada.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Canada.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Canada.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you live in Canada.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Canada.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Canada.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Canada.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Canada.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Canada.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,you live in Canada.

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Canada.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Canada.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,and road construction, you live in Canada.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Canada.

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Canada.

toph · 20 October 2008, 11:51 PM

Troy · 21 October 2008, 12:00 AM

Yep that's us

astcell · 21 October 2008, 12:07 AM

I can relate to the speeding one! I was doing 100kph and being passed, even by police!

eric23 · 21 October 2008, 12:32 AM

DSJ · 21 October 2008, 01:12 AM

A lot of these were taken from...

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota:

If you consider it a sport to get food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there for days hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud your state makes the national news 196 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you don't know the difference between 'borrow' and 'loan',
You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through June,
You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad sleeps in his baseball hat, You might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi....Cloquet.... Edina...and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota.

You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow in a blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes to church,
You might live in Minnesota.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota.

You think the 2 major food groups are fish, and deer meat,
You might live in Minnesota.

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota.

There are always 17 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm ,
You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota.

You find minus 10 degrees "a little chilly",
You might live in Minnesota.

If you actually understand these jokes, you probably live in Minnesota or Iowa.

JJ Irani · 21 October 2008, 02:32 AM

Latrodectus · 21 October 2008, 03:35 AM

limbo · 21 October 2008, 06:06 AM

velomane · 21 October 2008, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by figbo

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Canada.

If you use metric and imperial measures in the same sentence, you live in Canada.

Ashley · 21 October 2008, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by velomane

If you use metric and imperial measures in the same sentence, you live in Canada.

That's awesome.

Ashley · 21 October 2008, 12:07 PM

My mom definitely designed all of our Halloween costumes to be worn with winter coats on underneath. I always wished it was warmer here at the end of October so we didn't have to worry about it!

Bisquitlips · 21 October 2008, 12:08 PM

swatty · 21 October 2008, 05:17 PM

Art161 · 24 October 2008, 08:44 PM

20 October 2008, 11:39 PM	#1
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	Canadian humor Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks: If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Canada. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Canada. If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Canada. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Canada. If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you live in Canada. If you measure distance in hours, you live in Canada. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Canada. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Canada If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Canada. If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Canada. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Canada. If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,you live in Canada. If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Canada. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Canada. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,and road construction, you live in Canada. If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Canada. If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Canada.

20 October 2008, 11:51 PM	#2
toph "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: ChrisTOPHer Location: Sydney Watch: Rolex, Brellum, Posts: 12,601	__________________ "Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795

21 October 2008, 12:07 AM	#4
astcell "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Real Name: Robert Location: Angelus Oaks, CA Watch: 116713 Posts: 6,828	I can relate to the speeding one! I was doing 100kph and being passed, even by police! __________________ SS GMTII "D", TT GMTIIc "Z"

21 October 2008, 01:12 AM	#6
DSJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: David Location: USA Watch: your step! Posts: 7,882	A lot of these were taken from... Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota: If you consider it a sport to get food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there for days hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in Minnesota. If you're proud your state makes the national news 196 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Minnesota. If you don't know the difference between 'borrow' and 'loan', You might live in Minnesota. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through June, You might live in Minnesota. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Minnesota. If your dad sleeps in his baseball hat, You might live in Minnesota. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Minnesota. If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi....Cloquet.... Edina...and Shakopee, You might live in Minnesota. If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in Minnesota. You measure distance in hours, You might live in Minnesota. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in Minnesota. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow in a blizzard without flinching, You might live in Minnesota. You see people wearing hunting clothes to church, You might live in Minnesota. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Minnesota. You think the 2 major food groups are fish, and deer meat, You might live in Minnesota. You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Minnesota. There are always 17 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm , You might live in Minnesota. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Minnesota. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Minnesota. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction, You might live in Minnesota. If "Down South" to you means Iowa, You might live in Minnesota. You find minus 10 degrees "a little chilly", You might live in Minnesota. If you actually understand these jokes, you probably live in Minnesota or Iowa. __________________ Rolex. The Rolex of watches. 16570 Expy2 Noir, 116710 GMT Master II, 2552.80 SMP

21 October 2008, 02:32 AM	#7
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

21 October 2008, 12:00 AM	#3
Troy Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Troy Location: Calgary, Alberta Watch: Tudor Sub. 7928 Posts: 1,275	Yep that's us

21 October 2008, 12:32 AM	#5
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21 October 2008, 03:35 AM	#8
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21 October 2008, 06:06 AM	#9
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21 October 2008, 12:07 PM	#12
Ashley "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Real Name: Ashley Location: Calgary Posts: 6,967	My mom definitely designed all of our Halloween costumes to be worn with winter coats on underneath. I always wished it was warmer here at the end of October so we didn't have to worry about it!

21 October 2008, 12:08 PM	#13
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