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Classic 41 · 21 April 2019, 10:53 AM

A New Penis:

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it".

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision."
And what is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."

Dr. Robert · 22 April 2019, 01:59 AM

AzPaul · 22 April 2019, 04:08 AM

Outstanding

Jojoshop · 22 April 2019, 04:13 AM

Outstanding! My wife is in tears !!!
Happy Easter !!!

Jojoshop · 22 April 2019, 04:15 AM

Now; we have guests from church and she just told them the joke and everybody is cracking up

BNA/LION · 22 April 2019, 04:35 AM

Ha!!!!!

swatty · 22 April 2019, 06:18 PM

CarrJ · 24 April 2019, 10:53 AM

That was good

Abdullah71601 · 24 April 2019, 11:03 AM

The missus spat out her dummy.

Psmith · 25 April 2019, 03:56 AM

watchwatcher · 4 May 2019, 10:37 PM

Ymca1313!!! · 5 May 2019, 04:51 AM

Etschell · 6 May 2019, 04:00 AM

Lollll

knm · 7 May 2019, 08:28 AM

Very funny, I laughed so hard. Nice

RLX_NY · 7 May 2019, 11:43 PM

nice one

ancientmariner · 8 May 2019, 12:33 AM

RolexFan007 · 5 June 2019, 10:44 PM

Andad · 5 June 2019, 10:49 PM

My daughter

my wife pretended not to hear.

Art 1 · 5 June 2019, 11:27 PM

That's funny!

subtona · 5 June 2019, 11:30 PM

squirrel211 · 6 June 2019, 01:46 AM

It's funny because it's true.

Illirep · 8 June 2019, 12:08 PM

Hilarious

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

cellg8 · 17 June 2019, 06:53 AM

too funny!

MrCowboy99 · 20 June 2019, 08:00 AM

Lol

Dbenshmuel · 9 July 2019, 03:54 AM

Jeezzz...

brandrea · 26 July 2019, 08:54 PM

That’s a beauty

21 April 2019, 10:53 AM	#1
Classic 41 "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: TN Posts: 19	A New Penis A New Penis: A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it". The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision." And what is your decision?" asks the doctor. "We're getting granite countertops."

22 April 2019, 01:59 AM	#2
Dr. Robert 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 64,251	__________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

22 April 2019, 04:08 AM	#3
AzPaul 2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2012 Real Name: Paul Location: Tucson, Az Watch: Rolex 1501 Posts: 13,887	Outstanding __________________ Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender

22 April 2019, 04:35 AM	#6
BNA/LION 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2011 Real Name: Larry Location: San Diego, CA Watch: ROLEX Posts: 25,651	Ha!!!!! __________________ ✦ 28238 President DD 18K/YG ✦ 16610LN SS Sub ✦ 16613 18K/SS Serti ✦ 16550 Exp II Non-Rail Cream Dial ✦ Daytona C 116500 ✦ 126710 BLRO GMT-Master II ✦ NEXT-->? ⛳ Hole In One! 10/3/19 DMCC 5th hole, par 3, 168 yards w/ 4-Iron.

25 April 2019, 03:56 AM	#10
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

22 April 2019, 04:13 AM	#4
Jojoshop "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2018 Real Name: Jim Location: LA Watch: BLNR Posts: 492	Outstanding! My wife is in tears !!! Happy Easter !!!

22 April 2019, 04:15 AM	#5
Jojoshop "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2018 Real Name: Jim Location: LA Watch: BLNR Posts: 492	Now; we have guests from church and she just told them the joke and everybody is cracking up

22 April 2019, 06:18 PM	#7
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

24 April 2019, 10:53 AM	#8
CarrJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2019 Real Name: Carr Location: Maryland Watch: Rolex 116719BLRO Posts: 242	That was good

24 April 2019, 11:03 AM	#9
Abdullah71601 Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Calumet Harbor Watch: ing da Bears Posts: 13,568	The missus spat out her dummy.

4 May 2019, 10:37 PM	#11
watchwatcher "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: Kentucky Watch: Yes Posts: 35,047

5 May 2019, 04:51 AM	#12
Ymca1313!!! "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2019 Location: Cape cod Posts: 148

6 May 2019, 04:00 AM	#13
Etschell "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: FL Watch: platinum sub Posts: 15,884	Lollll __________________ If you wind it, they will run. 25 or 6 to 4.

7 May 2019, 08:28 AM	#14
knm Banned Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: USA Watch: Rolex Daytona Posts: 91	Very funny, I laughed so hard. Nice

7 May 2019, 11:43 PM	#15
RLX_NY "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: NYC Posts: 210	nice one

8 May 2019, 12:33 AM	#16
ancientmariner "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Real Name: Tony Location: UK Posts: 1,174

5 June 2019, 10:44 PM	#17
RolexFan007 "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2018 Real Name: Frank Location: US and AU Watch: YM2 116680 Posts: 545

5 June 2019, 10:49 PM	#18
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,526	My daughter my wife pretended not to hear. __________________ E

5 June 2019, 11:27 PM	#19
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244	That's funny!

5 June 2019, 11:30 PM	#20
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,598	__________________

6 June 2019, 01:46 AM	#21
squirrel211 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: USA Posts: 70	It's funny because it's true.

8 June 2019, 12:08 PM	#22
Illirep "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: Princeton Posts: 26	Hilarious Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

17 June 2019, 06:53 AM	#23
cellg8 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 9	too funny!

20 June 2019, 08:00 AM	#24
MrCowboy99 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Real Name: Mac Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 1,367	Lol __________________ I do not offer or provide any Rolex investment advice or opinion regarding the nature, potential, value, suitability or profitability of any particular watch, collections of watches, transaction or investment watch collecting strategy, and you shall be fully responsible for any watch decisions you make, and such decisions will be based solely on your evaluation of your financial circumstances, watch objectives, risk tolerance, and what looks good in yoru opinion on your wrist.

9 July 2019, 03:54 AM	#25
Dbenshmuel "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Real Name: Daniel Location: Miami, Fl Posts: 25	Jeezzz...

26 July 2019, 08:54 PM	#26
brandrea 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Real Name: Brian (TBone) Location: canada Watch: es make me smile Posts: 78,091	That’s a beauty

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