What if other Bond actors were "Le Chiffre'd"

[RogerF]

Taken from a car forum.

It seems the term "Le Chiffre'd" is everywhere these days....



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How would the other Bonds have handled the torture scene? What do you think?

Some examples:

For those of us who have seen Casino Royale, we have experienced the infamous torture scene and how Craig’s Bond reacts.

The process employed by Le Chiffre follows some classic rules of torture. Put the victim in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable environment to increase disorientation and unease. Humiliate the victim by stripping him naked. Make him feel more vulnerable without his clothes. Taunt him at first, explain how much it’s going to hurt, let some time pass – then tell him what you want. He refuses to comply. Inflict pain. Taunt him again, explain how much it’s going to hurt again, let some time pass again – then tell him what you want again. He refuses. Inflict pain again. And so on.

Craig’s Bond: He looks scared, anxious, desperately trying to control himself. Sweating profusely, shivering somewhat. He knows what’s coming, but he is determined not to crack. When, for the first time, the knotted rope is whipped violently into his genitalia, his face contorts in a mask of agony, he jerks and spasms in the chair, he screams. In an attempt to wrong foot his torturer, to affirm his macho persona, to distract himself from the pain, he cracks jokes. He uses pure force of will not to give in and tell Le Chiffre what he wants to know. It is sheer agony to watch.

Connery: He appears mildly concerned, perspiring lightly, his eyes darting occasionally, but not too randomly. This being the sixties, he’s wearing dark slacks and a dark sweat shirt and dark sneakers. He’s got all his clothes on. “Do you expect me to talk?” he asks of Le Chiffre.

“No, Mr Bond” Le Chiffre replies, “I expect you to cry.”

The first slap of the knotted rope brings forth a slight grimace and a grunt from Bond: “I say, old boy, my maiden aunt could thwack me in the jewels harder than that. Do try again.”

Le Chiffre throws the rope aside in disgust. “It’s no good. We’ll never break him this way. We’ll have to think of something else. Bring the girl.”

Lazenby: He’s fully clothed as well – this still being the sixties. He’s very concerned, quite uneasy about all this, so he flips to expression number three – the one that is a combination of quizzical puzzlement and puzzling quizzlement. Being Australian, he’s certainly worried about not being able to score with the Sheilas as a result of this treatment, so he’s gong to try and act his way out of it. Not much chance of that.

“G’day, La Chiffrie, now I don’t know anything about anything, fair dinkum, so you best let me go, cobber, and we’ll say no more about it, yer red-eyed old bastar d.”

The first whip in the balls causes a seriously sharp intake of breath: “Strewth!”

Bond passes out.

Moore: Fully clothed in khaki safari suit, but bare footed. This is the seventies. One eyebrow is arched anxiously, the other is lowered. He looks mildly disinterested, but also strangely alert. A Sheen of Max Factor Cosmetic Perspiration Number Five glistens on his brow. He inclines his head slightly and addresses Le Chiffre:

“Now look, my good man, surely we can come to some arrangement…”

“Just give me the number, Mr Bond.”

“Well…would any number do? I can give you the number of my tailor…”

Comedy slap in groin with knotted rope ensues replete with bell sound effect.

Bond smiles disarmingly. “Missed the middle wicket, it seems, Mr Le Chiffre.”

Le Chiffre groans and turns to the camera: “You know, there’s a lot to be said for just shooting someone.”

Dalton: Bond is stripped to the waist, wearing only a pair of tight linen slacks. A bucket of cold water is thrown over him and a heavy slaps and punches him in the face a few times. Bond glowers as blood runs from his split lip. He looks angry more than afraid, seething with intense, barely controlled rage.

“All right, Le Chiffre, let’s see what you’re made of.”

Le Chiffre hesitates. “Well, come on,” Bond spits. “Take your best shot. Do a good job, because if you leave me alive I’ll be coming after you. You’ll have no place to hide. I’ll hunt you down and kill you like the dog you are. So come on. What are you waiting for?”

Le Chiffre backs up. “Um, yes, all right…um…look, tell you what, why don’t we do this another day…?”

Brosnan: Wearing some filthy, torn pyjamas like he’s been held captive in a pretend North Korean prison camp, he sits in the chair with his hands manacled in front of him. The arse is cut out of his pyjama bottoms. He is perspiring slightly on the upper lip. There are twelve guards positioned around the room. Le Chiffre approaches him, slapping the knotted rope gently into the palm of his hand.

“If you don’t tell me what I want to know, Mr Bond, you will not die another day. You will die today. In considerable agony.”

Bond sneers: “If I die today or another day, whatever day I die is the day I die, and I dare say I will die either another day or today depending on the day on which I die on…”

“Shut up!”

Suddenly, Bond activates a laser in his capped front tooth by flicking his tongue against a hidden trigger in his top gum. The laser beam darts out of his mouth, cutting through the links of his manacles, setting him free.

“Freedom of speech, Le Chiffre,” he quips wittily.

He grabs the knotted rope from Le Chiffre, spins him around and applies the rope as a garrotte across the villain’s throat thus using Le Chiffre as a human shield. The guards open fire, bullets riddle Le Chiffre’s body as Bond makes his way to the nearest guard. He throws the lifeless Le Chiffre aside, kicks a guard in the stomach, kicks him in the face, grabs his dropped machine gun before it hits the ground, turns and shoots every remaining guard to death in an instant.

Then, it’s through the door, onto the runway, into the ready-fuelled jet, up, up and away. Turns jet back to launch rockets at the base. Massive explosion, everyone dies.

Bond steers the jet towards home and smiles in the cockpit to himself: “So what if it is a lot of bollocks. The money’s good. And it's not like they've got anyone to replace me.”

OK, folks your turn.

[JJ Irani]

LOL! Excellent, Roger....especially the one on Connery as Bond!!

[padi56]

LMAO Roger some great ones there