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idk01 · 5 February 2010, 03:57 PM

There was some good news for Tiger last week. He was just voted "Athlete of
the Decade" by The Associated Press. He's also been named "Athlete of the
Decade" by Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler! We now see that Tiger
Woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn't fare very well on the
driveway.

Tiger Woods' popularity has fallen down to 33 percent. Any lower and maybe
he should think about running for Congress. He never lied to her when he
said, "Honey, I'm going out to play a-round."

Did you know that Tiger doesn't like to refer to his other women as
"mistresses." He prefers to call them "provisional's." Tiger Woods paid
some of his mistresses between $5,000 and $20,000 a month to keep quiet
about his affairs. That's the second bailout plan this year that didn't
work.

One of the Tiger Woods' mistresses is in talks to pose for Playboy.
They are thinking they can have each month of the year covered with a
mistress and call it "The Year of the Tiger." One woman linked to Tiger
Woods is 48 years old. Or, as Tiger refers to her, "my senior tour."

Tiger Woods is taking a break from golf. I guess he needs some time off to
get his AFFAIRS in order.

Construction on a Tiger Woods Golf Course will continue in Dubai,
according to a spokesman for the project. However, they are considering
changing their advertising slogan: "If you love golf and want to play a
round."

What is one golf expression that Tiger will never say to his wife again?
"Hey Honey, I'm only going to play 9 holes!"

When the cop asked Mrs. Woods how many times she hit Tiger with the club
she said, "I don't know, put me down for a five."

Tiger is early favorite for 2010 Nobel "Piece" Prize!

Tiger's favorite Christmas Carol: "I'm Dreaming of a White Mistress."

The latest speculation is that Tiger Woods may be trying to rekindle his
marriage by taking his wife on a cruise on his yacht.
You know, before it becomes her yacht.

swatty · 5 February 2010, 04:56 PM

Dr. Robert · 5 February 2010, 05:43 PM

I miss the Tiger jokes....great post!!!!

Lion · 6 February 2010, 01:29 AM

Very good!!!

ESKO · 6 February 2010, 01:58 AM

Just the words tiger and joke reminded me of this....

"What do little tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze, do they dream about mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Cat Woman suit? Don't you worry your pretty stripped head we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed."

-The Hangover 2009

ESKO · 6 February 2010, 02:00 AM

By the way those jokes were AWESOME!

JJ Irani · 6 February 2010, 05:09 AM

ParisDakarBmw · 6 February 2010, 05:23 AM

I put a sand trap around my house for added security!

rfknauss · 6 February 2010, 05:31 AM

sleddog · 6 February 2010, 10:12 AM

:rofl :

Great post Dave!!!

pz93c · 8 February 2010, 11:45 AM

Safetrends · 8 February 2010, 12:33 PM

Excellent Dave

happy20091010 · 8 February 2010, 06:49 PM

great work, and funny

5 February 2010, 03:57 PM	#1
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Tiger Jokes......... There was some good news for Tiger last week. He was just voted "Athlete of the Decade" by The Associated Press. He's also been named "Athlete of the Decade" by Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler! We now see that Tiger Woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn't fare very well on the driveway. Tiger Woods' popularity has fallen down to 33 percent. Any lower and maybe he should think about running for Congress. He never lied to her when he said, "Honey, I'm going out to play a-round." Did you know that Tiger doesn't like to refer to his other women as "mistresses." He prefers to call them "provisional's." Tiger Woods paid some of his mistresses between $5,000 and $20,000 a month to keep quiet about his affairs. That's the second bailout plan this year that didn't work. One of the Tiger Woods' mistresses is in talks to pose for Playboy. They are thinking they can have each month of the year covered with a mistress and call it "The Year of the Tiger." One woman linked to Tiger Woods is 48 years old. Or, as Tiger refers to her, "my senior tour." Tiger Woods is taking a break from golf. I guess he needs some time off to get his AFFAIRS in order. Construction on a Tiger Woods Golf Course will continue in Dubai, according to a spokesman for the project. However, they are considering changing their advertising slogan: "If you love golf and want to play a round." What is one golf expression that Tiger will never say to his wife again? "Hey Honey, I'm only going to play 9 holes!" When the cop asked Mrs. Woods how many times she hit Tiger with the club she said, "I don't know, put me down for a five." Tiger is early favorite for 2010 Nobel "Piece" Prize! Tiger's favorite Christmas Carol: "I'm Dreaming of a White Mistress." The latest speculation is that Tiger Woods may be trying to rekindle his marriage by taking his wife on a cruise on his yacht. You know, before it becomes her yacht. __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

6 February 2010, 01:29 AM	#4
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

6 February 2010, 05:09 AM	#7
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

6 February 2010, 05:31 AM	#9
rfknauss 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Richard Location: Macungie, PA Watch: 5513 Sub, LV Sub Posts: 14,497	__________________ *"Few things in life give man as great a pleasure as wearing a Rolex!"* TRF's "AFTER DARK" Bar & NightClub Patron

6 February 2010, 10:12 AM	#10
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,930	:rofl : Great post Dave!!! __________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

5 February 2010, 04:56 PM	#2
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

5 February 2010, 05:43 PM	#3
Dr. Robert 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 64,098	I miss the Tiger jokes....great post!!!!

6 February 2010, 01:58 AM	#5
ESKO Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Real Name: Luis Location: Afghanistan/Texas Watch: 2012 Milgauss GV Posts: 752	Just the words tiger and joke reminded me of this.... "What do little tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze, do they dream about mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Cat Woman suit? Don't you worry your pretty stripped head we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed." -The Hangover 2009

6 February 2010, 02:00 AM	#6
ESKO Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Real Name: Luis Location: Afghanistan/Texas Watch: 2012 Milgauss GV Posts: 752	By the way those jokes were AWESOME!

6 February 2010, 05:23 AM	#8
ParisDakarBmw Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Paul Location: New Haven, CT Watch: 116610 Sub-C Posts: 6,552	I put a sand trap around my house for added security!

8 February 2010, 11:45 AM	#11
pz93c "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Brian Location: Republic of Texas Posts: 2,776

8 February 2010, 12:33 PM	#12
Safetrends Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: David Walz Location: San Diego CA USA Watch: my hand. :) Posts: 9,156	Excellent Dave

8 February 2010, 06:49 PM	#13
happy20091010 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: USA Posts: 12	great work, and funny

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