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ParisDakarBmw · 22 February 2010, 01:15 PM

I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit.

For starters, I want a used Seadweller 16660, and have been stakcing back lunch money, and things like that for a few months. I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south.

My wife and I have 3 Yorkshire Terriers. It has finally started getting warm again, and the biggest male is Bandit. He started to look like a stray dog, and his fur was not washing well in the bath. I was given "Orders" from my sweet wife. This was to take Bandit to the dog groomer on Saturday, and have his hair trimmed, and nails clipped. He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash.

My loving wife went to work Saturday afternoon for the evening shift at the hospital. I was getting dressed to take the dog for his trip. As my wife pulled out of the driveway, I slipped into my jogging shorts, and grabbed bandit from his crate. He was rushed to the bathroom where I rolled up the rugs, and plugged in the clippers. I turned on the radio, and after oiling the clippers I sat down with the dog. I had planned to give him a quick trim, shampoo, cut his nails, and pour a little peroxide in his ears, and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up.

Things didn't go as planned. I clipped his front nails, and one started to bleed. This got all over me and the bathroom floor. I could clean the floor with bleach, and she still wouldn't know. I started clipping him with no guard, and he fought me the entire time. I had to get scissors to finish the detail work. I put him in the bath, and the entire bathroom smelled of dog. I cleaned his ears fine, but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all.

I scrubbed the bathroom, and mopped every inch. I went to sleep, and just figured my wife would forget about it.

I was awoken this morning to an angry pregnant woman yelling about Bandit. She said he looked like he was sick, and I has no business doing that to her dog. Well, you guys can see the pictures. I didn't think it looked that bad!

Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed....

sleddog · 22 February 2010, 01:20 PM

Looks fine to me but you are now in the proverbial "Dog" house..!

Thanks for the great story though,It bought a smile to my face!!

Yazo · 22 February 2010, 01:25 PM

Oh man.. I am on the floor laughing Paul... I'm sorry to hear you're in the doghouse but how you got there is HYSTERICAL!!!

East Bay Rider · 22 February 2010, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit.

.... I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south...
... He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash.

... and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up.

Things didn't go as planned.

... but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all.

Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed....

You cannot steal from yourself.

It's gonna cost you more to fix the dog and make amends with the wife.

Good luck with that.

Ps - excellent choice in watches on your wish list.

Mosco · 22 February 2010, 01:31 PM

Dude - too funny!

kyle L · 22 February 2010, 01:33 PM

An angry wife is not good Paul...

RebreatherDiver · 22 February 2010, 01:33 PM

OMG, I am laughing in stitches!!!!!! I can't stop, I have had to rewrite this three times because I am laughing so hard. aaaaaaah hahahahaha!

Paul, you have got yourself in a heap of trouble. If you lived close by I would say you could stay in the guest room until things blow over. Hell, you could even drink my beer and I could pocket the cash I would have spent on you at the bar for your sorrows,

ahaahahh ahhahha!

Mrdi · 22 February 2010, 01:34 PM

On the floor
what a stitch
your lucky if she doesn't cut your hair
while your sleeping.

ParisDakarBmw · 22 February 2010, 01:36 PM

What was she expecting?

meloncap78 · 22 February 2010, 01:38 PM

I'm sorry dude but................

: rofl:

. Seriously though I hope everything turns out ok for ya.

AWATCH · 22 February 2010, 01:39 PM

Sorry to hgear you in the doghouse, but guy this is really funny

Browining · 22 February 2010, 01:42 PM

Great story, had me rolling on the floor. One of those, "it was a good idea at the time" moments.

Browning

JohnBoy · 22 February 2010, 01:46 PM

Toooo Much, Man! Doesn't look like 'the Bandit' is holding it against you, though! What a guy will do for his Rolex problem, huh? That crate could get kinda crowded!

By the way, nice looking Coke flavored goodie on your wrist! Hang in there!

EarthAngel · 22 February 2010, 01:47 PM

Toooooooo Funnnnnnnny!!!! you made my day.

Pep04 · 22 February 2010, 01:50 PM

That is one hell of a funny story!!! Sounds like something I would do all the way. Only I would have blamed the groomer!!!!

Two things you don't do is mess with a pregnant woman's food or lie to your wife.

I am guilty of both and I don't seem to learn.

My wife read it and has the audacity of asking if I had given you the idea by chance!!!!

Really one to tell the twins!!!!

dardeca · 22 February 2010, 01:51 PM

Priceless!

2005rivers · 22 February 2010, 02:02 PM

I feel for you, But that is very funny, I'd say you earned the $75

Esexx · 22 February 2010, 02:04 PM

Here Here! Sounds like a cop I work with who is married to a nurse.

Actually it is something would do!

4 Ranges · 22 February 2010, 02:10 PM

Omg the wife and I are crying laughing!!!!

jrssv · 22 February 2010, 02:12 PM

We are Yorkie people too. Would your wife believe that Bandit was just having a bad hair day?

snow_rocks · 22 February 2010, 02:17 PM

Glad you are so open with your wife. Should make for a long lasting relationship!

ParisDakarBmw · 22 February 2010, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrssv

We are Yorkie people too. Would your wife believe that Bandit was just having a bad hair day?

Maybe if we lived near Chernobyl. Poor dog does look a bit like a Greyhound now that she mentioned it.

Oh yes! She also took the cash plus some other innocent funds that were sitting in my wallet.

It's something every week like this around here. I also tool my little 1.5 year old girl shopping today. I got her ears pierced. I told my wife after she woke up this afternoon. I didn't know it was a sacred event between Mother and doughter. She is pretty livid over the entire weekend.

I had no idea she would "split a nuetron" twice in one day.

Thank god I go to work tomorrow!

Yazo · 22 February 2010, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

Maybe if we lived near Chernobyl. Poor dog does look a bit like a Greyhound now that she mentioned it.

Oh yes! She also took the cash plus some other innocent funds that were sitting in my wallet.

It's something every week like this around here. I also tool my little 1.5 year old girl shopping today. I got her ears pierced. I told my wife after she woke up this afternoon. I didn't know it was a sacred event between Mother and doughter. She is pretty livid over the entire weekend.

I had no idea she would "split a nuetron" twice in one day.

Thank god I go to work tomorrow!

LMAO.. dude no offense but these 2 stories belong on a sitcom.. it's freaking GOLD!

ayecarumba · 22 February 2010, 02:33 PM

...chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate!

Rootin' for ya!
Good luck!

--Paul

ParisDakarBmw · 22 February 2010, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayecarumba

...chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate!

Rootin' for ya!
Good luck!

--Paul

Am I supposed to throw it in her mouth when she is attacking? I could just see me buying a box of Godiva chocolatiers, and trying to ring her mouth as she charges......I'm waiting for a rabid bear to maul my limbs off, and you suggest tossing candy at her!!

Your wife must be easy going, or you are smart, and take your dog to the groomer!

I'm batting 1000 today, and should do something special I guess.

She needs a new box of cigars!!!!

Soupsandwich · 22 February 2010, 02:41 PM

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I think we should all send you $10 for your fund. :)

Robert

crazyfingers · 22 February 2010, 02:50 PM

Just the kind of thing I needed to start my day!

mpkRolex · 22 February 2010, 03:04 PM

hennabav · 22 February 2010, 03:07 PM

LOL...Paul, you have some guts there!! I think we all want to know how this story ends...don't leave us hanging.

Watch Professor · 22 February 2010, 03:09 PM

Great story.

22 February 2010, 01:15 PM	#1
ParisDakarBmw Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Paul Location: New Haven, CT Watch: 116610 Sub-C Posts: 6,552	My wife's very angry! I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit. For starters, I want a used Seadweller 16660, and have been stakcing back lunch money, and things like that for a few months. I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south. My wife and I have 3 Yorkshire Terriers. It has finally started getting warm again, and the biggest male is Bandit. He started to look like a stray dog, and his fur was not washing well in the bath. I was given "Orders" from my sweet wife. This was to take Bandit to the dog groomer on Saturday, and have his hair trimmed, and nails clipped. He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash. My loving wife went to work Saturday afternoon for the evening shift at the hospital. I was getting dressed to take the dog for his trip. As my wife pulled out of the driveway, I slipped into my jogging shorts, and grabbed bandit from his crate. He was rushed to the bathroom where I rolled up the rugs, and plugged in the clippers. I turned on the radio, and after oiling the clippers I sat down with the dog. I had planned to give him a quick trim, shampoo, cut his nails, and pour a little peroxide in his ears, and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up. Things didn't go as planned. I clipped his front nails, and one started to bleed. This got all over me and the bathroom floor. I could clean the floor with bleach, and she still wouldn't know. I started clipping him with no guard, and he fought me the entire time. I had to get scissors to finish the detail work. I put him in the bath, and the entire bathroom smelled of dog. I cleaned his ears fine, but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all. I scrubbed the bathroom, and mopped every inch. I went to sleep, and just figured my wife would forget about it. I was awoken this morning to an angry pregnant woman yelling about Bandit. She said he looked like he was sick, and I has no business doing that to her dog. Well, you guys can see the pictures. I didn't think it looked that bad! Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed.... Attached Images

22 February 2010, 01:20 PM	#2
sleddog 2025 TitaniumYM Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,935	Looks fine to me but you are now in the proverbial "Dog" house..! Thanks for the great story though,It bought a smile to my face!! __________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

22 February 2010, 01:31 PM	#5
Mosco "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Real Name: Greg Location: Cincinnati Watch: I like to... Posts: 18,567	Dude - too funny! __________________ Instagram - @CaliberSwiss *“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” - Hunter S. Thompson*

22 February 2010, 01:33 PM	#7
RebreatherDiver "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Thomas Location: Greater Boston Watch: Rotational Posts: 666	OMG, I am laughing in stitches!!!!!! I can't stop, I have had to rewrite this three times because I am laughing so hard. aaaaaaah hahahahaha! Paul, you have got yourself in a heap of trouble. If you lived close by I would say you could stay in the guest room until things blow over. Hell, you could even drink my beer and I could pocket the cash I would have spent on you at the bar for your sorrows, ahaahahh ahhahha! __________________ Thomas "Veritas"

22 February 2010, 01:36 PM	#9
ParisDakarBmw Banned Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Paul Location: New Haven, CT Watch: 116610 Sub-C Posts: 6,552	What was she expecting? Attached Images

22 February 2010, 01:25 PM	#3
Yazo "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Dallas TX Watch: Rolex Posts: 2,812	Oh man.. I am on the floor laughing Paul... I'm sorry to hear you're in the doghouse but how you got there is HYSTERICAL!!!

22 February 2010, 01:33 PM	#6
kyle L "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: USA Watch: Rolex Explorer I Posts: 10,278	An angry wife is not good Paul...

22 February 2010, 01:34 PM	#8
Mrdi Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: PA Posts: 3,478	On the floor what a stitch your lucky if she doesn't cut your hair while your sleeping.

22 February 2010, 01:38 PM	#10
meloncap78 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Real Name: Joshua Location: Syracuse, NY Watch: LV C Posts: 2,204	I'm sorry dude but................: rofl:. Seriously though I hope everything turns out ok for ya.

22 February 2010, 01:39 PM	#11
AWATCH "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: al Location: GEORGIA Watch: Explorer II Posts: 1,759	Sorry to hgear you in the doghouse, but guy this is really funny __________________ Al

22 February 2010, 01:42 PM	#12
Browining "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 258	Great story, had me rolling on the floor. One of those, "it was a good idea at the time" moments. Browning

22 February 2010, 01:46 PM	#13
JohnBoy "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: John Location: Seattle, WA USA Watch: Rolex - a few! Posts: 1,472	Toooo Much, Man! Doesn't look like 'the Bandit' is holding it against you, though! What a guy will do for his Rolex problem, huh? That crate could get kinda crowded! By the way, nice looking Coke flavored goodie on your wrist! Hang in there!

22 February 2010, 01:47 PM	#14
EarthAngel "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Real Name: Allan Location: NJ Posts: 47	Toooooooo Funnnnnnnny!!!! you made my day.

22 February 2010, 01:50 PM	#15
Pep04 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Pep Location: Miami Watch: GMTIIc, Pam320 Posts: 2,773	That is one hell of a funny story!!! Sounds like something I would do all the way. Only I would have blamed the groomer!!!! Two things you don't do is mess with a pregnant woman's food or lie to your wife. I am guilty of both and I don't seem to learn. My wife read it and has the audacity of asking if I had given you the idea by chance!!!! Really one to tell the twins!!!! __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin Prick #8

22 February 2010, 01:51 PM	#16
dardeca "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: US Watch: Rolex, Patek Posts: 2,495	Priceless!

22 February 2010, 02:02 PM	#17
2005rivers Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: texas Watch: GMT Master IIc Posts: 545	I feel for you, But that is very funny, I'd say you earned the $75

22 February 2010, 02:04 PM	#18
Esexx "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Real Name: Dean Location: Redondo Beach, CA Watch: ing TRF All Day Posts: 2,105	Here Here! Sounds like a cop I work with who is married to a nurse. Actually it is something would do!

22 February 2010, 02:10 PM	#19
4 Ranges Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 94	Omg the wife and I are crying laughing!!!!

22 February 2010, 02:12 PM	#20
jrssv Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Arizona Posts: 386	We are Yorkie people too. Would your wife believe that Bandit was just having a bad hair day?

22 February 2010, 02:17 PM	#21
snow_rocks Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Rick Location: At what TIME?!!! Watch: the SKY tonite! Posts: 3,225	Glad you are so open with your wife. Should make for a long lasting relationship!

22 February 2010, 02:33 PM	#24
ayecarumba "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2008 Real Name: Paul Location: ATL Watch: the one I'm wearin Posts: 526	Paul, might I suggest.... ...chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate! Rootin' for ya! Good luck! --Paul __________________ "Whether we wake or we sleep, Whether we carol or weep, The Sun with his planets in chime, Marketh the going of Time." --Edward Fitzgerald

22 February 2010, 02:41 PM	#26
Soupsandwich "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Real Name: Robert Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 13	Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I think we should all send you $10 for your fund. :) Robert

22 February 2010, 02:50 PM	#27
crazyfingers "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Arjun Location: India Watch: Submariner 14060M Posts: 347	Just the kind of thing I needed to start my day! __________________ *Buy less, but buy better!* http://watchesindia.blogspot.com/

22 February 2010, 03:04 PM	#28
mpkRolex 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: USA Watch: Pepsi Posts: 2,417	__________________ Rest in peace JJ! http://www.rolexforums.com/showthrea...light=JJ+irani "Rolex is highly addictive. Please shop responsibly"

22 February 2010, 03:07 PM	#29
hennabav Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Real Name: Jon Location: New England Watch: --Rolex-- Posts: 2,391	LOL...Paul, you have some guts there!! I think we all want to know how this story ends...don't leave us hanging.

22 February 2010, 03:09 PM	#30
Watch Professor "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Myron Location: New York Watch: GMT IIC; Sub Date Posts: 3,166	Great story.

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