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Old 21 July 2010, 05:44 AM   #1
Stevieb
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Australian Ventriloquist

Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f***ing liar…'
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Old 21 July 2010, 06:02 AM   #2
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That's what JJ said!!
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Old 21 July 2010, 06:16 AM   #3
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Old 21 July 2010, 06:22 AM   #4
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Waiting for JJ's comeback...
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Old 21 July 2010, 07:59 AM   #5
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Old 21 July 2010, 08:13 AM   #6
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Doh!
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Old 21 July 2010, 09:16 AM   #7
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:thumb sup:
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Old 21 July 2010, 12:21 PM   #8
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Very good!!!
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Old 21 July 2010, 01:15 PM   #9
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Old 21 July 2010, 02:06 PM   #10
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Old 21 July 2010, 06:54 PM   #11
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very good like it
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Old 21 July 2010, 08:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by figbo View Post
That's what JJ said!!
I didn't know that J.J. had a dog and a horse too
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Old 21 July 2010, 10:23 PM   #13
figbo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BASSETHOUNDS View Post
I didn't know that J.J. had a dog and a horse too
It's all good for him!!
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Old 24 July 2010, 06:43 AM   #14
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THAT was hilarious!!!
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Old 24 July 2010, 07:13 AM   #15
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Old 31 July 2010, 02:04 PM   #16
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haha
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