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Old 2 August 2010, 06:37 AM   #1
haitek
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Icon12 Mental Hospital phone menu

HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesnt matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You wont be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, dont press any buttons, youll just mess it up.
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Old 2 August 2010, 06:39 AM   #2
Prince
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"You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Rick Nelson
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Old 2 August 2010, 06:43 AM   #3
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Old 2 August 2010, 06:44 AM   #4
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Old 2 August 2010, 01:16 PM   #5
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Rolex Milgauss GV (100m 330 feet) (2010) * Rolex Submariner 5512 (200m 660 feet) (1961)
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Old 2 August 2010, 01:50 PM   #6
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Old 3 August 2010, 01:31 AM   #7
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Very funny!!!
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SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#)
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!!
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Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!
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