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jatco · 4 August 2012, 01:07 PM

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course, when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,..
..'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'
.
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.'
.
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
.
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
.
'You're joking!' was the response.
.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle, with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'
.
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.'
.
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.....
.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.'
'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... aha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......he's naked, too!!!
..
.
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
.

'I'll do a flat rate. For you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
.
'Can you do two for me now?'
.
.'Sure, what do you want?'
....--
'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
....
'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
...
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.................
.-
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.......
.
.
.
'Just be patient,' the hit man said calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....'

TSW · 4 August 2012, 03:49 PM

AaronR15 · 4 August 2012, 03:58 PM

Haha, good one!

11618 · 4 August 2012, 07:25 PM

haha

MonBK · 4 August 2012, 07:30 PM

:)

77T · 5 August 2012, 12:56 PM

Always funny to hear this one

Art 1 · 5 August 2012, 09:59 PM

FeelingTheBlues · 7 August 2012, 02:58 PM

Cru Jones · 7 August 2012, 08:56 PM

mtrunner · 7 August 2012, 10:54 PM

eric23 · 11 August 2012, 05:25 AM

blue · 20 August 2012, 05:16 AM

OMG

hng · 20 August 2012, 03:20 PM

Silvio Mosiello · 20 August 2012, 03:22 PM

Very funny. Took me a couple seconds to get it but I actually laughed! Thanks!

swatty · 20 August 2012, 09:01 PM

bewithabob · 21 August 2012, 12:41 AM

Claymie · 23 August 2012, 02:31 AM

Can never get too many golf jokes...

lavaman · 27 August 2012, 12:14 PM

nice

Rashid.bk · 28 August 2012, 04:01 AM

4 August 2012, 01:07 PM	#1
jatco "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Real Name: Thomas Location: YVR Watch: 116233/79190 Posts: 51,027	'Hit Man'.... Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course, when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,.. ..'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.' . 'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' . So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?' . 'I'm a hit man,' was the reply. . 'You're joking!' was the response. . 'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle, with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.' . 'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' . So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house..... . 'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... aha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......he's naked, too!!! .. . He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?' . 'I'll do a flat rate. For you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.' . 'Can you do two for me now?' . .'Sure, what do you want?' ....-- 'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.' .... 'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.' ... The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes................. .- 'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently....... . . . 'Just be patient,' the hit man said calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....' __________________ . ..- ' A Crown for every achievement '

4 August 2012, 03:49 PM	#2
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	__________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

5 August 2012, 12:56 PM	#6
77T 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,258	Always funny to hear this one __________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

7 August 2012, 02:58 PM	#8
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	__________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

20 August 2012, 03:20 PM	#13
hng "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Real Name: HaNgat Location: Jakarta Watch: Sports Rolex Posts: 648	__________________ Cartier Tank / Suunto Stinger / 16014 / 16610LV / PAM 233 / 116520 / 14060M / 16710 / Omega Constellation

4 August 2012, 03:58 PM	#3
AaronR15 Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Real Name: Aaron Location: Chico, Ca/ Misawa Posts: 46	Haha, good one!

4 August 2012, 07:25 PM	#4
11618 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: UK Posts: 406	haha

4 August 2012, 07:30 PM	#5
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,277	:)

5 August 2012, 09:59 PM	#7
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

7 August 2012, 08:56 PM	#9
Cru Jones 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: CET Posts: 35,468

7 August 2012, 10:54 PM	#10
mtrunner 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Gary Location: Bozeman, MT Watch: 126508 Paul Newman Posts: 7,835

11 August 2012, 05:25 AM	#11
eric23 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Eric Location: Calgary Posts: 9,595

20 August 2012, 05:16 AM	#12
blue "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Real Name: Rob Location: Lancashire,UK Watch: Blue sub Posts: 338	OMG

20 August 2012, 03:22 PM	#14
Silvio Mosiello "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: Matthew Location: Miami/NY Watch: the shoes. Posts: 3,482	Very funny. Took me a couple seconds to get it but I actually laughed! Thanks!

20 August 2012, 09:01 PM	#15
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

21 August 2012, 12:41 AM	#16
bewithabob "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Bob Location: Dallas, Texas Watch: Daytona Meteorite Posts: 3,417	__________________ meteor flying to Earth onto my wrist... 116509 Daytona Meteorite, 116520 Daytona Black, 116710 GMTIIC, 16013 DATEJUST, CARTIER SANTOS 100 W20090X8, IWC Big Pilot, IWC Top Gun "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end."

23 August 2012, 02:31 AM	#17
Claymie 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: USA Posts: 225	Can never get too many golf jokes...

27 August 2012, 12:14 PM	#18
lavaman Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The Airport Watch: what happens next Posts: 1,942	nice

28 August 2012, 04:01 AM	#19
Rashid.bk "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Dallas Watch: 12800ft = 3900m Posts: 11,176

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