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Awesome Jim · 12 August 2012, 03:07 PM

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's precinct offices have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

lavaman · 13 August 2012, 03:44 AM

groooooooan

Sarajevo · 13 August 2012, 05:11 AM

Like :)

77T · 13 August 2012, 07:41 AM

I can just visualize Stephen Wright shuffling slowly back and forth across an empty stage, staring down and dead-panning some these lines into a microphone.

FeelingTheBlues · 13 August 2012, 01:40 PM

Art 1 · 13 August 2012, 05:05 PM

TSW · 13 August 2012, 05:32 PM

:)

MonBK · 13 August 2012, 05:59 PM

Funny..:)

1675-David · 13 August 2012, 06:12 PM

Puffy · 13 August 2012, 07:26 PM

some good ones there!

Porsche · 15 August 2012, 12:32 AM

Excellent

subtona · 15 August 2012, 12:46 AM

Route 66 · 15 August 2012, 01:00 AM

You're a very punny guy!

Bangel · 19 August 2012, 01:57 PM

Brilliant!

DCgator · 19 August 2012, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 77T

I can just visualize Stephen Wright shuffling slowly back and forth across an empty stage, staring down and dead-panning some these lines into a microphone.

Ditto! Those lines are so Steven Wright.

12 August 2012, 03:07 PM	#1
Awesome Jim Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Real Name: Jim Location: Calgary Watch: And wear Posts: 113	punography (I'll apologize now!) I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. PMS jokes aren't funny, period. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's precinct offices have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner? Oh deer! Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

13 August 2012, 07:41 AM	#4
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,016	I can just visualize Stephen Wright shuffling slowly back and forth across an empty stage, staring down and dead-panning some these lines into a microphone. __________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

13 August 2012, 01:40 PM	#5
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	__________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

13 August 2012, 05:32 PM	#7
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	:) __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

13 August 2012, 07:26 PM	#10
Puffy "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Here and there Posts: 12,485	some good ones there! __________________ Fine Quality is Long Remembered After the Pain of Spending Money is Forgotten

13 August 2012, 03:44 AM	#2
lavaman Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The Airport Watch: what happens next Posts: 1,942	groooooooan

13 August 2012, 05:11 AM	#3
Sarajevo "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Netherlands Watch: 16600371701 Posts: 1,271	Like :)

13 August 2012, 05:05 PM	#6
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

13 August 2012, 05:59 PM	#8
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	Funny..:)

13 August 2012, 06:12 PM	#9
1675-David "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Stockholm Posts: 6,061

15 August 2012, 12:32 AM	#11
Porsche 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Real Name: John Location: ɹǝpun Watch: and learn Posts: 2,986	Excellent __________________ Obey Gravity, it's the Law! ROLEX --- SEIKO --- HEUER TRF REHAUT T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M

15 August 2012, 12:46 AM	#12
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,598	__________________

15 August 2012, 01:00 AM	#13
Route 66 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Real Name: Steve Location: Burbank, CA Watch: 214270 Mark II Posts: 4,121	You're a very punny guy!

19 August 2012, 01:57 PM	#14
Bangel "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Australia Watch: 116610LN Posts: 15,802	Brilliant!

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