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padi56 · 29 June 2005, 04:55 PM

True Story.

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused
doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone
seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our
gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my
cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't
come out again, so i peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking
the light might attract him."
At a hushed press confrence, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and
severly burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the
impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree
burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

(PADI"S NOTES.)
Top Nine Scariest Things About This Story
1.What kind of hospital would hold a press confrence on this?

2.People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for:
Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their bum."

3.First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this
make the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief?
How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And
the smell of a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible
scents on the face of God's green earth.

4.People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were
doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would
have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex
fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter
fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just
can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying: "Well Doc, it's like
this. You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a
cardboard tube and stuck it up my ars#.

5.People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas
in their rectums.

6.Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of
someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was
springtime fresh after his journey into Kiki's "Tunnel of Love."

7.That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem)
being shot out of a guy's ars# like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky
& Bullwinkle.

8. So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but thats like
looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to
stare at the sun).

9."I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum...??"

Uncle-AJ · 29 June 2005, 10:21 PM

It beggars belief Padi.

padi56 · 29 June 2005, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

It beggars belief Padi.

True article from the LA Times,suppose it takes all-sorts and the odd Gerbil

Rockrolex · 30 June 2005, 03:00 AM

The story was funny the first time I read it, but your notes are priceless, Padi. There are truly some things money can't buy.

padi56 · 30 June 2005, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

The story was funny the first time I read it, but your notes are priceless, Padi. There are truly some things money can't buy.

Thanks I try to please.

Gunther · 30 June 2005, 02:40 PM

In my chosen profession I have had the dubious pleasure of Dx-ing and Tx-ing many freaks. I had so many just during school that I started the "Freak Files". In which I chronicled every odd thing that was inserted into a place it wasn't meant for.
Examples include the baby food jar full of meth. (Which broke in an auto accident as the patient was fleeing law enforcement.) According to the patient it "slipped" in there when he took a hard corner, then broke when he wrecked.
A small table or stool leg. ( Accompanied at the time of admission by a pair of salad tongs.) Apparently, it got "stuck" and the patient was too embarrassed to seek medical help. He retreived the tongs and employed them in an effort to remove the table leg! They promptly became "stuck" as well!
And finally, one for thought. I have a beautiful KUB or abdomen shot of a young man with a 75 watt lightbulb well into the far end of the digestive tract.

At first I was in a state of continual amazement. Now I guess I'm just jaded. I will never underestimate the sheer stupidity of the human animal or his overriding will to get his freak on!

Sorry to give evryone here the willies!
Gun

Uncle-AJ · 30 June 2005, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gunther

And finally, one for thought. I have a beautiful KUB or abdomen shot of a young man with a 75 watt lightbulb well into the far end of the digestive tract.

Perhaps he was on a diet and only had light meals.

JJ Irani · 30 June 2005, 04:38 PM

LMAO, Uncle-AJ, LOL! LOL!

Now that's the Adrian we've known and grown so fond of!! LOL!

padi56 · 30 June 2005, 06:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunther
And finally, one for thought. I have a beautiful KUB or abdomen shot of a young man with a 75 watt lightbulb well into the far end of the digestive tract.

Perhaps he likes Looking at the light at the end of his tunnel.

JJ Irani · 1 July 2005, 05:33 PM

LMAO, Padi!!

padi56 · 1 July 2005, 06:49 PM

Lot more relaxing on this forum.

Rockrolex · 2 July 2005, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

Lot more relaxing on this forum.

And our goal is to keep it that way, with everyone's help.

JJ Irani · 2 July 2005, 06:43 AM

Can I help in any way??

Rockrolex · 3 July 2005, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

Can I help in any way??

Yes. Just stay quiet and stop posting pictures of pumpkins.

P.S. (J/K).

JJ Irani · 3 July 2005, 08:15 AM

LOL!

Uncle-AJ · 3 July 2005, 12:18 PM

.................and stop using all those smilies.

baseballduck · 3 July 2005, 12:33 PM

Sounds..........lets just keep it at ouch.

Uncle-AJ · 3 July 2005, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baseballduck

Sounds..........lets just keep it at ouch.

Tyler what are you doing in this thread?................you are too young.

padi56 · 3 July 2005, 10:35 PM

What too young for Gerbils

Uncle-AJ · 3 July 2005, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

What too young for Gerbils

Don't set me off.

padi56 · 3 July 2005, 11:04 PM

Don't set me off.

Hope you haven't got to much gas Adrian.

Uncle-AJ · 4 July 2005, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

Hope you haven't got to much gas Adrian.

Well I do like mushy peas.

padi56 · 4 July 2005, 05:40 PM

Mushy peas,broccoli sprouts and beans,and a few pints of Guinness now that combination would be quite pleasant Adrian.

Uncle-AJ · 4 July 2005, 11:05 PM

I can feel the gasses starting to erupt just thinking about it.

padi56 · 5 July 2005, 01:07 AM

Eruptus fartus stinkus,like the new avater thats our Daffyd Thomas

.

Uncle-AJ · 5 July 2005, 02:24 AM

A bit risqué Padi. I don't think many members will have heard of Little Britain. They might get the wrong idea.

padi56 · 5 July 2005, 03:02 AM

Oh you are awful Adrian,chase me.

Uncle-AJ · 5 July 2005, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

Oh you are awful Adrian,chase me.

I wouldn't know what to do if I caught you, so I'll pass.

JJ Irani · 5 July 2005, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

I wouldn't know what to do if I caught you, so I'll pass.

Rockrolex · 6 July 2005, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

I wouldn't know what to do if I caught you, so I'll pass.

I know a few places in Soho, Adrian, where they could give you some hints and pointers.

29 June 2005, 04:55 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Raggot The Gerbil True Story. "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so i peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press confrence, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severly burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. (PADI"S NOTES.) Top Nine Scariest Things About This Story 1.What kind of hospital would hold a press confrence on this? 2.People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their bum." 3.First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief? How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth. 4.People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying: "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube and stuck it up my ars#. 5.People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums. 6.Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was springtime fresh after his journey into Kiki's "Tunnel of Love." 7.That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of a guy's ars# like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & Bullwinkle. 8. So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but thats like looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun). 9."I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum...??" Last edited by padi56; 29 June 2005 at 07:16 PM..

30 June 2005, 03:00 AM	#4
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,955	The story was funny the first time I read it, but your notes are priceless, Padi. There are truly some things money can't buy. __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

30 June 2005, 02:40 PM	#6
Gunther Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Right behind you! Posts: 70	Odd habits In my chosen profession I have had the dubious pleasure of Dx-ing and Tx-ing many freaks. I had so many just during school that I started the "Freak Files". In which I chronicled every odd thing that was inserted into a place it wasn't meant for. Examples include the baby food jar full of meth. (Which broke in an auto accident as the patient was fleeing law enforcement.) According to the patient it "slipped" in there when he took a hard corner, then broke when he wrecked. A small table or stool leg. ( Accompanied at the time of admission by a pair of salad tongs.) Apparently, it got "stuck" and the patient was too embarrassed to seek medical help. He retreived the tongs and employed them in an effort to remove the table leg! They promptly became "stuck" as well! And finally, one for thought. I have a beautiful KUB or abdomen shot of a young man with a 75 watt lightbulb well into the far end of the digestive tract. At first I was in a state of continual amazement. Now I guess I'm just jaded. I will never underestimate the sheer stupidity of the human animal or his overriding will to get his freak on! Sorry to give evryone here the willies! Gun

30 June 2005, 06:00 PM	#9
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Quote: Originally Posted by Gunther And finally, one for thought. I have a beautiful KUB or abdomen shot of a young man with a 75 watt lightbulb well into the far end of the digestive tract. Perhaps he likes Looking at the light at the end of his tunnel. Last edited by padi56; 30 June 2005 at 06:58 PM..

5 July 2005, 01:07 AM	#25
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Eruptus fartus stinkus,like the new avater thats our Daffyd Thomas . Last edited by padi56; 5 July 2005 at 01:11 AM..

29 June 2005, 10:21 PM	#2
Uncle-AJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Real Name: Adrian Location: Bolton, UK. Watch: Daytona 116520 Posts: 6,844	It beggars belief Padi.

30 June 2005, 04:38 PM	#8
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	LMAO, Uncle-AJ, LOL! LOL! Now that's the Adrian we've known and grown so fond of!! LOL!

1 July 2005, 05:33 PM	#10
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	LMAO, Padi!!

1 July 2005, 06:49 PM	#11
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Lot more relaxing on this forum.

2 July 2005, 06:43 AM	#13
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Can I help in any way??

3 July 2005, 08:15 AM	#15
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	LOL!

3 July 2005, 12:18 PM	#16
Uncle-AJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Real Name: Adrian Location: Bolton, UK. Watch: Daytona 116520 Posts: 6,844	.................and stop using all those smilies.

3 July 2005, 12:33 PM	#17
baseballduck "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Real Name: Tyler Location: Pinehurst NC Watch: Explorer 214270 Posts: 1,018	Sounds..........lets just keep it at ouch.

3 July 2005, 10:35 PM	#19
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	What too young for Gerbils

3 July 2005, 11:04 PM	#21
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Don't set me off. Hope you haven't got to much gas Adrian.

4 July 2005, 05:40 PM	#23
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Mushy peas,broccoli sprouts and beans,and a few pints of Guinness now that combination would be quite pleasant Adrian.

4 July 2005, 11:05 PM	#24
Uncle-AJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Real Name: Adrian Location: Bolton, UK. Watch: Daytona 116520 Posts: 6,844	I can feel the gasses starting to erupt just thinking about it.

5 July 2005, 02:24 AM	#26
Uncle-AJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Real Name: Adrian Location: Bolton, UK. Watch: Daytona 116520 Posts: 6,844	A bit risqué Padi. I don't think many members will have heard of Little Britain. They might get the wrong idea.

5 July 2005, 03:02 AM	#27
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,044	Oh you are awful Adrian,chase me.

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