Something here to offend everybody!

[padi56]

Take time in life to sit back and laugh.





1.A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his
mobile as ‘Low Battery’. Whenever she calls him,
in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into
the charger. Give that man a medal.

2.Government Survey
A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal
immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own
doctor.

3.I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It
makes the missus look like she’s moving during
foreplay and intercourse.

4. Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with
them; they said it would be just like winning Lotto! I
agreed, and they were right.. We all stripped off, and to my
horror, we had six matching balls!

5. Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman
it’s considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks
dirty to a man, it’s £3.50/min (charges may vary).

6. Valentine’s Day
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the
wife. Bound to end in tears though; she’s lousy at
snooker.


7. If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu
from tins of ham then delete it. It’s spam.

8. They say that sex is the best form of exercise.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think 2 minutes and 15
seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer
belly.

[MonBK]

:)

[Konstantine]

50% of the jokes involved a wife....I don't even have a girlfriend . . . . The longest relationship I had is with my Submariner (Yet in the future I would like to cheat on it with a GMT BLNR )

[Vincent65]

�� good one

[cop414]

[watchwatcher]

[Psmith]

[Rockrolex]

I wasn't the least bit offended, Peter. But I did get a good laugh out of it.

[rootbeer7]

Great stuff lol!!

[Hairdude1]

[seand442]

[Bangel]

[swatty]