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Old 24 December 2015, 11:39 AM   #1
Ruud Van Driver
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Season's Greetings

Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to everyone, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer this morning and on her advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2016, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that the United Kingdom is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting these terms :

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Kind regards (without prejudice),

Name withheld (privacy act).
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Old 24 December 2015, 11:41 AM   #2
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sad but true
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Old 24 December 2015, 11:44 AM   #3
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That being said Paul, I wish you a very Merry Christmas my good friend!!!
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Old 24 December 2015, 11:52 AM   #4
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Merry Christmas, Paul! I could care less what's PC anymore. If I offend someone by celebrating my traditions, GET OVER IT, or not, I really don't care either way.
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Old 24 December 2015, 11:55 AM   #5
Ruud Van Driver
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Unfortunately, it is sad but true but me being me I, I fancied a giggle so I wrote that with tongue firmly planted in cheek

Merry Christmas, everyone
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Old 24 December 2015, 12:15 PM   #6
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Merry Christmas Paul!
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Old 24 December 2015, 12:24 PM   #7
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Merry Christmas Paul
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Old 24 December 2015, 12:59 PM   #8
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Merry Christmas Paul.
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Old 24 December 2015, 01:19 PM   #9
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Unfortunately, that about covers it.
Thanks for the laugh, and Merry Christmas!
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Old 24 December 2015, 01:21 PM   #10
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Very cheeky. Merry Christmas and all the best in the new year.
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Old 24 December 2015, 01:27 PM   #11
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Season's Greetings

Paul, Thanks for the holiday greeting. I have passed this on to my lawyer for review and consideration prior to accepting the terms. What a wonderful time of the year this is for all humans and other life forms.
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Old 24 December 2015, 01:33 PM   #12
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How dare you wish me a happy/good/merry/holy/etc Christmas.
I intend to have a really shitty Christmas - as is my right - and I don't want any do-gooder, bleeding-heart, tree-hugger wishing me stuff that would interfere with that.
It's hard enough to be miserable what with all these Christmas carols, cards and presents floating around, and then you go and make it personal.
You should be ashamed.
I am going to speak with MY lawyer and see if I can get a Restraining Order to prevent you from doing anything as offensive as this next year.
You'll be hearing from him!


(Merry Christmas to you, yours and the Wilderbeest, Paul)
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Old 24 December 2015, 02:01 PM   #13
Ruud Van Driver
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock View Post
How dare you wish me a happy/good/merry/holy/etc Christmas.
I intend to have a really shitty Christmas - as is my right - and I don't want any do-gooder, bleeding-heart, tree-hugger wishing me stuff that would interfere with that.
It's hard enough to be miserable what with all these Christmas carols, cards and presents floating around, and then you go and make it personal.
You should be ashamed.
I am going to speak with MY lawyer and see if I can get a Restraining Order to prevent you from doing anything as offensive as this next year.
You'll be hearing from him!


(Merry Christmas to you, yours and the Wilderbeest, Paul)
I just laughed out loud and now my secretary thinks I'm nuts (like she didn't already)
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Old 24 December 2015, 02:07 PM   #14
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Greetings Ruud - loved your literature!! I doubt that you made a hole in your cheek, though!!
If you don't mind, I just have to share.
Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year 2016,
DM
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Old 24 December 2015, 02:11 PM   #15
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Very Merry Christmas, Paul!
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Old 24 December 2015, 06:53 PM   #16
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Love it Paul.

Merry Christmas mate !
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Old 24 December 2015, 07:15 PM   #17
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I remember when we were all told that we could not have anything that said Merry Christmas where I used to work.


Merry Christmas all. May you all be blessed everywhere all over the world.
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Old 24 December 2015, 10:45 PM   #18
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I say Merry Christmas to everyone. The cashier at the grocery store, the young guy at the desk in the gym...everyone. You'd be surprised how many people smile and say it back.

Merry Christmas everyone
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Old 24 December 2015, 10:57 PM   #19
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Quote:
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I say Merry Christmas to everyone. The cashier at the grocery store, the young guy at the desk in the gym...everyone. You'd be surprised how many people smile and say it back.

Merry Christmas everyone
Same here.....Merry Christmas gang!
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Old 24 December 2015, 11:15 PM   #20
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Merry Christmas everyone
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Old 25 December 2015, 12:26 AM   #21
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Merry Christmas
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Old 25 December 2015, 12:42 AM   #22
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A very Merry Christmas Paul; to you and the Mrs!! All the best over the holidays and the new year!!!
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Old 25 December 2015, 01:06 AM   #23
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I say Merry Christmas to everyone. The cashier at the grocery store, the young guy at the desk in the gym...everyone. You'd be surprised how many people smile and say it back.

Merry Christmas everyone
As do I my brother so Merry Christmas to you and the family Paulie!




And not Merry Xmas!
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Old 25 December 2015, 01:13 AM   #24
Ruud Van Driver
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As do I my brother so Merry Christmas to you and the family Paulie!




And not Merry Xmas!
Spot on!
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Old 25 December 2015, 01:53 AM   #25
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Feliz Navidad!
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Old 25 December 2015, 02:17 AM   #26
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brilliant stuff
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Old 25 December 2015, 02:24 AM   #27
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Old 25 December 2015, 02:25 AM   #28
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.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆★☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆★☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸
☆ A BIG New Years HUG ☆☆˜˜”*°•.¸
¸.•°*”˜˜☆ To spread a little LOVE and HAPPINESS ☆˜˜”*°•.¸☆˜˜”*°•.¸
˜”*°•.¸☆ ☆¸.•°*”2016☆˜˜”*°•.¸☆˜˜”*°•.¸
¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆♥☆ Happy New Year ☆♥☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸
˜”*°•.¸☆♥ To My Friends ♥☆¸.•°*”˜
¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸★☆♥ PEACE and KINDNESS ♥☆★¸.•°*” for the new year
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Old 25 December 2015, 02:27 AM   #29
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Very well written.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

I'm still laughing.
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Old 25 December 2015, 03:53 AM   #30
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Merry Christmas everyone
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