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22 August 2008, 09:32 AM | #1 |
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The whole Venus & Mars thing
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. |
22 August 2008, 09:34 AM | #2 |
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"Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795 |
22 August 2008, 10:33 AM | #3 |
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good one lol
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22 August 2008, 07:37 PM | #4 |
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Cool, can I take you out to lunch, we have to talk
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22 August 2008, 11:23 PM | #5 |
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good laugh!
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it's not just about telling the time... happy rolexing... I'm just a man with a passion
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23 August 2008, 04:41 AM | #6 |
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23 August 2008, 08:48 PM | #8 |
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24 August 2008, 01:29 AM | #9 |
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LOL
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26 August 2008, 12:42 PM | #10 |
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26 August 2008, 12:55 PM | #11 |
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28 August 2008, 07:44 AM | #12 |
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