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Porsche · 12 March 2018, 04:04 PM

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.

My teeth are all my own. I just finished paying for them.

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying,
‘Well that taught me a lesson.’

Men’s legs have a terribly lonely life – standing in the dark in your trousers all day.

Do I believe in safe sex? Of course I do. I have a handrail around the bed.
Honolulu: it’s got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.

“Age doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese”, on approaching his 80th birthday

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It’s never been tried.

My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, ‘Is this a joke?’

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.

So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut.

Five-thirds of people have trouble understanding fractions.

Hairdude1 · 15 March 2018, 10:44 AM

jsg · 15 March 2018, 11:07 AM

A good one!

MonBK · 15 March 2018, 06:55 PM

:)

Peter99 · 19 March 2018, 04:57 AM

Ken Dodd, an amazing comedian who could do a 5 hour off-the-cuff stand-up stage act and was well known for his feather ‘tickling stick’.
He lived all his life in a village called ‘Knotty Ash’ near Merseyside where he invented a family of dwarf ‘Diddymen’ with leprechaun hats.
His act was never ‘smutty’, ‘fruity’ possibly, but with no swear words which was most unusual.
A true professional with a hard act to follow.

12 March 2018, 04:04 PM	#1
Porsche 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Real Name: John Location: ɹǝpun Watch: and learn Posts: 2,986	In honor of Ken Dodd... Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it. My teeth are all my own. I just finished paying for them. My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, ‘Well that taught me a lesson.’ Men’s legs have a terribly lonely life – standing in the dark in your trousers all day. Do I believe in safe sex? Of course I do. I have a handrail around the bed. Honolulu: it’s got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother. “Age doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese”, on approaching his 80th birthday How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It’s never been tried. My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, ‘Is this a joke?’ I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it. Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel. So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut. Five-thirds of people have trouble understanding fractions. __________________ Obey Gravity, it's the Law! ROLEX --- SEIKO --- HEUER TRF REHAUT T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M T H E R O L E X F O R U M

15 March 2018, 10:44 AM	#2
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

15 March 2018, 11:07 AM	#3
jsg "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2013 Real Name: J. Location: North east USA Watch: Rolex, PAM, Omega Posts: 581	A good one!

15 March 2018, 06:55 PM	#4
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,277	:)

19 March 2018, 04:57 AM	#5
Peter99 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: London Watch: 116610LN & 214270 Posts: 495	Ken Dodd, an amazing comedian who could do a 5 hour off-the-cuff stand-up stage act and was well known for his feather ‘tickling stick’. He lived all his life in a village called ‘Knotty Ash’ near Merseyside where he invented a family of dwarf ‘Diddymen’ with leprechaun hats. His act was never ‘smutty’, ‘fruity’ possibly, but with no swear words which was most unusual. A true professional with a hard act to follow.

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