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23 March 2018, 01:14 PM | #1 |
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The Psychiatrist
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.” “Just put yourself in my hands for one year" said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.” “How much do you charge?” “Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor. “I'll sleep on it,” I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked. “Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00.... “Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” “He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now!” It's always better to get a second opinion.
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As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing off everyone is a piece of cake. |
23 March 2018, 09:11 PM | #2 |
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Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED
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23 March 2018, 09:12 PM | #3 |
Banned
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Haha...:)
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23 March 2018, 10:12 PM | #4 |
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23 March 2018, 10:57 PM | #5 |
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John!
That's genius!
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. People of integrity expect to be believed and when they are not they let time prove them right. A best friend is like a four leaf clover - hard to find and lucky to have. SJP |
24 March 2018, 01:20 PM | #6 |
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Damned psychoanalysts.
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25 March 2018, 09:56 PM | #7 |
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30 March 2018, 01:59 PM | #8 |
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30 March 2018, 02:23 PM | #9 |
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A few years ago I adopted a cat and the sucker went under my bed and absolutely refused to come out for anything. I put the box springs and mattress directly on the floor and problem solved! |
30 March 2018, 10:11 PM | #10 |
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30 March 2018, 10:16 PM | #11 |
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Smart bartender!
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