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East Bay Rider · 8 January 2009, 03:52 AM

A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?'

The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.'

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?'

The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?'

The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.'

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?'

The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison'

A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?'

'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?'

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them
to say?'

Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

figbo · 8 January 2009, 05:49 AM

Great ones!

JJ Irani · 8 January 2009, 05:54 AM

All good, buddy!!

toph · 8 January 2009, 06:18 AM

excellent

ROLEX MAN · 9 January 2009, 08:23 PM

oh dear-great laugh!!

xtra3cats · 9 January 2009, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?'

'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?'

Yeah, where is Larry's bar?

Latrodectus · 11 January 2009, 02:10 AM

Thank you

Bisquitlips · 11 January 2009, 05:08 AM

swatty · 11 January 2009, 02:00 PM

bodybump · 11 January 2009, 03:27 PM

ratae1950 · 13 January 2009, 08:59 AM

Rofl!

onkyo · 13 January 2009, 02:52 PM

DDastady · 13 January 2009, 03:40 PM

eric23 · 14 January 2009, 12:46 AM

8 January 2009, 03:52 AM	#1
East Bay Rider "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Bill Location: East Bay RI Watch: GMT-II 16710LN Posts: 12,061	A few good ones A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.' The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.' A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?' The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison' A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?' 'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?' Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?' Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.' Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.' Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!' All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card. The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed. __________________ I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man Floating down canal It doesn't use numbers or moving hands It always just says "now" Now you may be thinking that I was had But this watch is never wrong And if I have trouble the warranty said Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On J. Buffett Instagram: eastbayrider46

8 January 2009, 05:54 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	All good, buddy!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

8 January 2009, 06:18 AM	#4
toph "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: ChrisTOPHer Location: Sydney Watch: Rolex, Brellum, Posts: 12,601	excellent __________________ "Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795

9 January 2009, 08:23 PM	#5
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,714	oh dear-great laugh!! __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

11 January 2009, 02:10 AM	#7
Latrodectus 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Fred Location: KY, USA Watch: GMT-Master II Posts: 10,042	Thank you __________________ Member # 16057 4-Hands Club Tosser Club Member TRF Skypers Group

8 January 2009, 05:49 AM	#2
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	Great ones!

11 January 2009, 05:08 AM	#8
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

11 January 2009, 02:00 PM	#9
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

11 January 2009, 03:27 PM	#10
bodybump ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2024 SubLV41 Sponsor & Boutique Seller Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Oscar Location: Florida Watch: Me!!! Posts: 23,233	__________________

13 January 2009, 08:59 AM	#11
ratae1950 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Cambridge Ma Posts: 2,331	Rofl! __________________ Yunnoworameenmiduck

13 January 2009, 02:52 PM	#12
onkyo Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Pav Location: Manhattan Posts: 11,495

13 January 2009, 03:40 PM	#13
DDastady Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: USA Posts: 300

14 January 2009, 12:46 AM	#14
eric23 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Eric Location: Calgary Posts: 9,595

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