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figbo · 9 January 2009, 06:32 AM

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "Ya know, my damn elbow hurts like hell! I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen my friend, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It only takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor!"
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. WOW! AWESOME! He is blown away!

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. Hmmmm.........so he proceeds to mix some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure!

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And, if you don't stop playing with yourself, your damn elbow will never get better!

Troy · 9 January 2009, 07:24 AM

swatty · 9 January 2009, 07:29 AM

simoesm · 9 January 2009, 07:40 AM

Very funny.

onkyo · 9 January 2009, 08:17 AM

Rolexitis · 9 January 2009, 09:55 AM

xtra3cats · 9 January 2009, 10:52 AM

Good good good...

JJ Irani · 9 January 2009, 04:32 PM

limbo · 9 January 2009, 06:07 PM

ROLEX MAN · 9 January 2009, 08:07 PM

What a good, good laugh!!

Latrodectus · 11 January 2009, 01:52 AM

Bisquitlips · 11 January 2009, 05:10 AM

:lol :

9 January 2009, 06:32 AM	#1
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	Diagnostic Computer One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "Ya know, my damn elbow hurts like hell! I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen my friend, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It only takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor!" So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. WOW! AWESOME! He is blown away! That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. Hmmmm.........so he proceeds to mix some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure! Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. And, if you don't stop playing with yourself, your damn elbow will never get better!

9 January 2009, 07:40 AM	#4
simoesm "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Manuel Location: Portugal Watch: SS Sub Date Black Posts: 260	Very funny. __________________ 1999 SS Tag Heuer 1500 blue dial & bezel 2001 SS Omega Speedmaster silver dial 2008 SS "M" Subdate black dial & bezel

9 January 2009, 09:55 AM	#6
Rolexitis "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2008 Real Name: Matt Location: Earth Watch: 114060 Posts: 3,203	__________________ Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

9 January 2009, 04:32 PM	#8
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

9 January 2009, 08:07 PM	#10
ROLEX MAN 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: Home and Away Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,714	What a good, good laugh!! __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

9 January 2009, 07:24 AM	#2
Troy Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Troy Location: Calgary, Alberta Watch: Tudor Sub. 7928 Posts: 1,275

9 January 2009, 07:29 AM	#3
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

9 January 2009, 08:17 AM	#5
onkyo Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Pav Location: Manhattan Posts: 11,495

9 January 2009, 10:52 AM	#7
xtra3cats Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: United States Posts: 931	Good good good...

9 January 2009, 06:07 PM	#9
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

11 January 2009, 01:52 AM	#11
Latrodectus 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Fred Location: KY, USA Watch: GMT-Master II Posts: 10,042	__________________ Member # 16057 4-Hands Club Tosser Club Member TRF Skypers Group

11 January 2009, 05:10 AM	#12
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	:lol : __________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

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