Adut Fairy Tales

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>>
>> CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
>> let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
>> appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs
>> to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
>> diaphragm."
>>
>> Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
>>
>> "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
>> into a pumpkin."
>>
>> Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and
>> goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
>> shows up, looking
>> love struck and very satisfied.
>>
>> "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm
>> was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
>>
>> " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
>>
>> The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
>> power! Tell me his name!"
>>
>> Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
>> Peter, Peter, something or other..."
>> ___________________________________________
>>
>> PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
>> splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
>> visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a
>> little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
>> enlightened.
>>
>> A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
>> town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
>>
>> Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
>> _____________________________________________
>>
>> LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
>> Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
>> throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
>>
>> To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
>> and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
>> not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
>> to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
>>
>> Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
>> ___________________________________________
>> SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
>> behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
>> crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
>> ___________________________________________
>> Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
>> ____________________________________________
>> One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
>> and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged
>> in sex.
>>
>> "What's that?" he asked.
>>
>> She explained to him what sex ! was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in
>> the trunk of a tree."
>>
>> Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
>> you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
>> ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in
>> here."
>>
>> Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
>> almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually
>> she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
>>
>> "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.

[JJ Irani]

[padi56]