ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

idk01 · 28 March 2009, 11:42 PM

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does
he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures
on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver
the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one
enjoys it?

24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you
send it by sea it is called cargo?

25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days
a year, why are there locks on the door?

JJ Irani · 29 March 2009, 04:13 AM

limbo · 29 March 2009, 04:34 AM

Lion · 29 March 2009, 06:18 AM

Very good!!!

coddger · 29 March 2009, 01:01 PM

hflee55 · 29 March 2009, 01:17 PM

Bisquitlips · 29 March 2009, 01:47 PM

Alcan · 29 March 2009, 03:27 PM

George Carlin was superb! (R.I.P.)

28 March 2009, 11:42 PM	#1
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans? 23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? 24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo? 25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door? __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

29 March 2009, 04:13 AM	#2
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

29 March 2009, 06:18 AM	#4
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

29 March 2009, 01:01 PM	#5
coddger "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Only Mom Knows Location: Land Of The Free Watch: 116520,16610,16013 Posts: 1,573	__________________ Contentment Is Not The Fulfillment Of Getting All The Watches You Want, It Is The Realization Of How Many Rolexes You Already Have.

29 March 2009, 01:47 PM	#7
Bisquitlips 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Richard Location: USA Watch: YM Deep Space Posts: 12,521	__________________ Rolex Yacht-Master 40mm (SS-YG / Deep Space MOP) 16623 Breitling Aerospace Titanium / 18K with UTC. Omega Speedmaster 3510.50 Oris TT1 Pro Diver Regulator 43MM

29 March 2009, 04:34 AM	#3
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

29 March 2009, 01:17 PM	#6
hflee55 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Real Name: Andy Location: Kuala Lumpur, MY Watch: Me Watching You!! Posts: 3,260

29 March 2009, 03:27 PM	#8
Alcan 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Al Location: Way Up North Watch: your P's & Q's Posts: 10,473	George Carlin was superb! (R.I.P.) __________________ Member #1,315 I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)