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padi56 · 30 October 2009, 01:10 AM

Every week, Jim played 18 holes of golf with his friend Pete. It always ended in the same way, with Pete finishing in around 3 over Par, and Jim in about 186, following air shots, complete misses, and topped strokes! One week, completely demoralised after another disastrous round, Jim was about to smash his putter into the wall when Pete said:

"You know, the reason I play well is because of my glasses; they're bifocals. Why don't you get yourself a pair and see how they can improve your game?"

Jim wasn't amused, and dumping his clubs into the car, off he went.

During the next few days, Jim thought more and more about Pete's comments, and finally, deciding to give golf just one more try, he went to the Opticians and bought himself a pair of bifocals, ready for the weekend. Come Saturday morning, Jim headed off to the golf course, and met Pete for the game. Showing Pete the glasses, Jim asked what he was supposed to do now. Pete said:

"OK - put on the glasses, and take all your clubs out of the bag; now, look at them through the glasses - some look big, and some look small. Take all the clubs that look big, and put the rest back in the bag."

Jim did as Pete said, and sure enough, the clubs looked different sizes, so he kept all the big ones, and put the rest back. Then Pete said:

"Take out all your golf balls, and look at them too - some will look big, and some will look small. Take all the balls that look small, and put the rest back."

Mystified, Jim did as he was told. Pete then explained:

"Now, you take the clubs that looks big, and use them to hit the balls that looks small, and play away! You'll always have plenty of club face, so you can't miss! Let's go."

Off they went, and after an exciting 18 holes, they both got around in 1 under Par - Jim was absolutely ecstatic! Putting their kit away, they adjourned to the 19th hole, where Jim proceeded to buy everyone in the bar drink after drink in celebration. After his sixth beer, Jim excused himself, and made for the toilet. When he got back five minutes later, his trousers were soaking wet, and he was definitely not amused. Pete asked him what on earth had happened, and Jim said:

"It's these bloody bifocals!! I went in there for a p#ss, and when I got the old boy out, I looked down and there were two of them - one looked big, and one looked small. I knew the big one couldn't be mine, so I put it back!"and piss#d myself..

Troy · 30 October 2009, 01:47 AM

JJ Irani · 30 October 2009, 02:55 AM

limbo · 30 October 2009, 05:21 AM

Nick1959 · 30 October 2009, 06:09 AM

sleddog · 30 October 2009, 03:13 PM

A classic Padi!!!

idk01 · 30 October 2009, 09:48 PM

I have trifocals, Not going down that path

dalip · 30 October 2009, 11:19 PM

sandytn · 30 October 2009, 11:30 PM

Very funny.

Lion · 2 November 2009, 12:24 PM

Very good!!!

30 October 2009, 01:10 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,024	Short Sighted Golfer. Every week, Jim played 18 holes of golf with his friend Pete. It always ended in the same way, with Pete finishing in around 3 over Par, and Jim in about 186, following air shots, complete misses, and topped strokes! One week, completely demoralised after another disastrous round, Jim was about to smash his putter into the wall when Pete said: "You know, the reason I play well is because of my glasses; they're bifocals. Why don't you get yourself a pair and see how they can improve your game?" Jim wasn't amused, and dumping his clubs into the car, off he went. During the next few days, Jim thought more and more about Pete's comments, and finally, deciding to give golf just one more try, he went to the Opticians and bought himself a pair of bifocals, ready for the weekend. Come Saturday morning, Jim headed off to the golf course, and met Pete for the game. Showing Pete the glasses, Jim asked what he was supposed to do now. Pete said: "OK - put on the glasses, and take all your clubs out of the bag; now, look at them through the glasses - some look big, and some look small. Take all the clubs that look big, and put the rest back in the bag." Jim did as Pete said, and sure enough, the clubs looked different sizes, so he kept all the big ones, and put the rest back. Then Pete said: "Take out all your golf balls, and look at them too - some will look big, and some will look small. Take all the balls that look small, and put the rest back." Mystified, Jim did as he was told. Pete then explained: "Now, you take the clubs that looks big, and use them to hit the balls that looks small, and play away! You'll always have plenty of club face, so you can't miss! Let's go." Off they went, and after an exciting 18 holes, they both got around in 1 under Par - Jim was absolutely ecstatic! Putting their kit away, they adjourned to the 19th hole, where Jim proceeded to buy everyone in the bar drink after drink in celebration. After his sixth beer, Jim excused himself, and made for the toilet. When he got back five minutes later, his trousers were soaking wet, and he was definitely not amused. Pete asked him what on earth had happened, and Jim said: "It's these bloody bifocals!! I went in there for a p#ss, and when I got the old boy out, I looked down and there were two of them - one looked big, and one looked small. I knew the big one couldn't be mine, so I put it back!"and piss#d myself.. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

30 October 2009, 02:55 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

30 October 2009, 06:09 AM	#5
Nick1959 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New York Watch: Rolex DSSD Posts: 558	__________________ Regards, Nick Rolex Oyster Perpetual, DSSD,TT GMT IIC Daytona SS Breitling Chronomat CX 20000 Swiss Military,Longine Grande

30 October 2009, 03:13 PM	#6
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,930	A classic Padi!!! __________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

30 October 2009, 09:48 PM	#7
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	I have trifocals, Not going down that path __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

30 October 2009, 01:47 AM	#2
Troy Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Troy Location: Calgary, Alberta Watch: Tudor Sub. 7928 Posts: 1,275

30 October 2009, 05:21 AM	#4
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

30 October 2009, 11:19 PM	#8
dalip "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Real Name: Dalip Location: Mumbai and Perth Watch: Rolex PAM Omega Posts: 18,656	__________________ ------------------------------------------------------------ *"The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." George Bernard Shaw*

30 October 2009, 11:30 PM	#9
sandytn Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Sandy Location: NJ Posts: 713	Very funny.

2 November 2009, 12:24 PM	#10
Lion "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Leo Location: Midwest Watch: GMT-II 16710 PEPSI Posts: 21,461	Very good!!! __________________ SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!!

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